His crew called him Kool Aid Man. When I asked him why he said “ooooooh yeah.”
Category: Competition
Competition
Bidet
David straddled the bidet directly above the nozzle. Little did he know, a mad scientist had succeeded in transforming city water into acid.
168 Marks on The Ishango Bone
The marks were humble, even gentle in their up and down march on 30,000 year-old fibula …six times ticking off the lunar month.
My inner eye netted her tiny, black hands meticulously aligning the rows so that her menstrual beat merged with the moon’s ballet; and she became the earth’s first mathematician.
Lesson Learned
Mom and Dad had always told me to knock on a closed door before going into a room. I thought maybe my closet door didn’t count until the day I opened it and saw the monster I always knew was in there banging a transvestite hooker.
Frankenstein
Giant Undead Babies. Sounds Interesting…
Airlines
The Airline says to secure the airbag on yourself before your children. The Airline was wrong.
The October Widow
At the Halloween party, Mary thought he was just another cute guy in costume. She had no idea she was speaking to a real Genie when she drunkenly admitted there were times she wished her husband was dead.
The Bank Job
Through the shattered window of the bank, the zombie fired off another round of bullets at the police. He knew there was no way they were taking him alive.
Here i am
Ran around, lost my way,found my way, got confused, searched for answers, nothing. Until i found Him, went to Him and said “Father, i’ve come a long way.”
Life Choices
She knew that if she did this, if she took this step, it was going to change everything. What she still had to figure out was if she wanted it to or not.
Regret
She looked stunning in her white wedding dress, the flowing train shimmering under the morning sunlight.
If only he had treasured that five years ago.
Key West Vermin
“I promise I’ll call you as soon as I arrive in Key West” he said, as he gave her a deep kiss goodbye, and held her tightly, vowing how much he would miss her while he was gone these next two days.
Too bad the rat didn’t realize that Sloppy Joe’s has a webcam she thought, as she caught sight of him in a wicked embrace with the tawdry blonde next to him at the bar.
The Beginning
Of all those in the Pythagorean campo that season, Mistra, a youngish woman, was the most brilliant and coldly determined in argument.
Yet her hands and body shook violently that morning as she whispered urgently to the stunned Master of her dream that the long side of the triangle, when squared, equaled the summed, squares of the other two.
Rock and Roll Life: The Birth
After opening for the headlining Pynchonettes, the members of Shredded Pecker returned to their van parked in the alley behind the club to find what they initially thought were their first groupies. Though on closer inspection it was determined that they were only a pair of bag ladies looking for a place to get out of the cold, this did not prevent bass player Flemmy Squatencough from partaking anyway.
Tenure of a Sort
As unofficial house-poet of a borderline accredited girl’s junior college, Schwaa U’u had committed many acts that would almost certainly have been considered socially unacceptable outside the confines of the ivory tower. Such was the charismatic seediness of his reputation, that when, following his death by mystery, it was found his entire body of work consisted of little more than a handful of largely inscrutable bits of esoterica, the legend of his eccentric genius was assured.
Social Status Rules
The jump rope lay bloodied where young Lucy had played before Lady Murphy run amok down the street with her scythe. Damned aristocracy.
Noir Paranoia
Pursued down dark sidewalks, across streets black with rain water, and finally into the oblivion of a blind alley, Blanche Erasmo turned with panic and exhaustion to face her fate. No one was there.
Loveable Creatures
As lonely, unloved, frumpy Liz was about to jump from the Golden Gate Bridge, ten passing dolphins called to her saying, “Hey beautiful, we’re heading for Hawaii and Tahiti, so why don’t you join us?”
Delighted that such playful, adorable, loving creatures wanted her, she jumped right into the arms of ten sharks wearing dolphin costumes
Pissing in Their Pants
She asked me why the Pythagorean oath of secrecy was so strictly enforced that they even once drowned a “leaker”.
I asked her to try to imagine that SHE was the first person in the world to establish a direct connection between numbers and geometric figures, and then try to recall why Darwin hid his book.
Lovefool
Unsure of what to do and what to say, the best she could say was “Let’s just avoid the day altogether!”. Meanwhile, her heart pounding in her chest, eyes cast downward trying to force a smile; he agreed, and neglected to notice the shoulders cast lower.