I’d rather fall off the bandwagon than to follow it.
I don’t need a full body scan at the airport because I don’t believe in a higher power.
If you moon walk, you could die due to lack of oxygen like Michael Jackson.
“Good morning,” she said, smiling at the guy she had spent the whole night texting with, hoping for a reply. He walked passed her, almost breaking her heart, when her phone buzzed with a text: “Good morning :)”, he said.
You died in my arms. I died in yours a hundred times.
I’m sitting alone in the basement. This is getting ridiculous.
NASA has proposed a new eco-friendly rocket ship powered by two monkeys and a bicycle.
The project is expected to cost fifty trillion dollars, and will make it to Uranus in about fifty million years, assuming they don’t run out of bananas.
The author of this story knows the secret of life, a secret that he will soon share. But as he types it out, he thinks to himself “Damn, I wish I could have more space”.
John and Suzie were the last surviving heirs to their father’s fortune. At dinner John poisoned Suzie who poisoned John.
Charles crawled along the rug, but just could not make it to the door.
“Charles looks much better on the rug than out the door,” thought Olivia.
A young girl kicked open a locked up coffin. The old man inside told her to vote early and often.
I miss her so much it is almost unbearable. If there is an afterlife, I will make it up to her there; this I swear with my entire being!
One day when I was feeling mellow I went to the beach and let out a bellow.
The sky was quite green and the sea it was yellow,
just like a nice old jaundiced fellow.
A major part of writing is convincing your audience that you know what you’re talking about, even when you don’t have a clue.
The hard part is getting them to read it in the first place.
Once again, Sue examined the same two indistinct pieces of Richard’s dismembered body and shook her head, frustrated. He’d been right after all; she clearly didn’t know his ass from his elbow.
“I hate you,” she whispered, a single tear falling from her eye. “I don’t,” he said before slowly kissing her forehead and walking away.
In a billion years, the Earth will be engulfed in the crimson fire of a bloated sun, as the great life-giving orb enters its death-throws.
On that fateful day, when you look upon it from your ethereal plain of eternity, what will you say was the point of it all, if not to escape?
It was yesterday when you last saw her, wasn’t it? Mass of wavy black hair swaying, her black boots dotted with blue bubbles plodding at the asphalt as she walked away from you for the very last time.
It’s getting pretty ridiculous now, how much I think about you. I would tell myself what you always used to tell me — suck it up and shake it off — but then I’d just be thinking of you again, wouldn’t I?
The darkness exploded around like a corona of blinding nothingness; a central core of ice-cold fluid drew him in inexorably.
Arrayed beyond him his audience sat, awaiting impatiently his book review.