Category: Two Sentence Stories

Every time you ask for money you derail my plans a little more.
I didn’t not go overseas because work was really busy, ok?

It finally happened!
Zompocalypse!

Wonder whose stage you’re strutting.
Not mine, not hers, not his.

Oh, Cousin Junkie, you and your crazy exploits!
Stealing all of Grandma’s rings while we were at her funeral – classic Cousin Junkie!

Outside my house is a giant piece of cheese sitting on a metal plate.
Very tempting it is, too.

A cup of snow dissolves down into less than a cup of water.
After something changes, it is always lesser, and more, simultaneously.

The big green monster with the apple eyes?
Yeah, it’s all part of my plan.

No matter how bad you feel it is nothing compared to how bad a snail feels when he has lost his shell.
All nude and whatnot, the gentle breeze playing across his slimy skin – now that’s feeling bad.

I recall that you asked me if you went crazy would I still like you.
I said yes, but then I found out it was a line from a song, so no.

You want to know another secret?
I went out with you just so I could see what huge double-D breasts were really like (they were ok).

Market share, market share, market share.
Empty words, empty words, empty words.

We eat.
We excrete.

The clench of fear can hit anytime.
Mine hit about four minutes before I quit my second job.

I really do feel for you.
Not pain, but what I imagine pain to be like.

When I was a kid I used to bury notes in empty pasta sauce jars.
Now my old house is the only one with note trees.

It’s possible I’m one of those pawns that ends up being a King.
Or maybe I’ve got pawn-delusions.