Category: Two Sentence Stories

Oh Taco you silly billy.
Mexican gardeners – you can’t teach em!

Great, now the caramel butterflies are extinct.
Stupid introduced fairyfloss toads.

My feet are cold.
Just like my hear…mwah ha ha heart.

In the end things were so bitter between us we couldn’t stand to be in the same room.
A prediction for the future.

My wife thought she knew me.
So funny what people think.

Oh dear you seem to be breaking up.
Time to patch the clay girl.

I cleaned my room and found many of the things you had left behind.
My self-respect wasn’t amongst them.

I studied what you studied because I had no idea what to do.
Probably should have asked you first if you knew what you were doing, right?

Her cousin was dating her best friend; and even though at times it seemed a little inbred, for the most part it didn’t bother her. But when they sat behind her in the back row of the cinema house, and he winked while slathering on chapstick, she cringed.

I attributed all kinds of complex motivations to your behaviours and spent a long time working out how to work with you.
Then I realised I just needed to shake something shiny in your eyeline and you’d get distracted and totally forget all that marketing bullshit.

I give you feeble excuses not because I fear the truth would destroy you, but because I fear it would destroy me.
Or maybe it would destroy the neighbour, I don’t know.

I don’t want to call you because I know it will end with you asking for money again.
There are plenty of jobs around – what exactly is the problem getting one?

I am the latest in technology.
I sensed your heartbeat quickening as you stepped closer to me.

I have continuity problems.
I’ll tell you what my problem is, I said.

Did you ever here an egg beg?
Ever see a cow bow?

I refused the news.
Give me the olds, I said.

Robots with laser-eyes came to the door.
‘Dear, are you expecting the end of humanity today?’ she said.

I’ve got all the answers.
27, the Earl of Sandwich, Mount Fuji, a maker of hats, check it out yeah.

I’ll have the gourmet socks with a side of yarn and a glass of cotton.
Eating out is the best.

I’m not going to change my mind.
Besides, I think it’s out of the warranty period.