Every time you talk marketing with me I imagine you saying “would you like fries with that?”
Please quit and give it a try – I think you’d be really good at it!
You know what would be so much better than that boring old marketing presentation?
How about you flash yourself?
You make me laugh when you stand by the window, screw up your face, and try desperately to comprehend the universe.
A speck of sand in the ocean has a better chance of understanding than you.
If you don’t like soul red we’ve got spirit green or depression blue.
You don’t want that one – it’s marketing shit brown.
I attributed all kinds of complex motivations to your behaviours and spent a long time working out how to work with you.
Then I realised I just needed to shake something shiny in your eyeline and you’d get distracted and totally forget all that marketing bullshit.
I met a marketing girl today.
Hollow she was, and as deep as the dog’s water dish.
I considered starting the revolution.
Then I decided to give in to consumption instead.
Every single day I come to work and hear you talk about marketing and brands and building the brand I wish for a virus to escape a Russian lab and spread across the world, wiping out all humanity.
I want you to be one of the last people to die so you can really appreciate that building the brand really is NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT!
You hear that buzzing sound?
It’s the dark cracking void where your soul used to be you fucking marketing sellout shit.
Look, I’m having a little trouble trying to concentrate on your marketing presentation.
Just over an hour ago I was cock deep in my girlfriend and I can still smell her on my fingers (plus you are SO boring it’s not funny).