She was not the jealous type and never suspected him of infidelity. All the same, she was morbidly curious about his former lovers—what kind of panties they wore, what they looked like, how smart they were, what sexual techniques they had—and couldn’t bear the thought of being inferior to them in any way.
I’m glad you couldn’t see me on the phone. I cried silently every time you were talking.
Even though she loved the man she slept beside, she sometimes dreamt of someone else from her past. So her waking heart and sleeping mind were always at war.
He laughed every time he saw a statue in a park or square. At some point in time, a critical mass of the general public had so admired this person, that they immortalized him by erecting a figure to be shat upon by passing birds for centuries to come.
He worked out constantly and felt sure she was with him for his manly, rugged good looks. But she fell in love only after seeing his awkward teenage photos hidden away in a family album.
I used to fantasize that Zach would go on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” get made over for me, and ask over the special dinner Ted taught him to make if I can ever forgive him for having been so stupid as to turn me down, he was just scared, et cetera, and now he’s realized his mistake and agonized over it, and will I give him a second chance?
Sometimes I would say no and sometimes yes, but invariably, all the Queer Eye guys gasped while watching the clip when I came on the screen and each exclaimed, “Oh she’s delightful,” then another “delicious,” and another “de-lovely!”
She was deep in discussion with the philosophy professor when his wife called. After hanging up the phone with a grimace, he told the student never to get married: “It’s like saying to someone, ‘I love you so much, I want to trap you for the rest of your life!’”
Everyone thought she refused to date him because she was “afraid of ruining the friendship.” But back when they barely knew each other, she had watched him throw himself at another girl; and she hated the thought of taking somebody’s leftovers or of being Plan B.
Many miles away from home, she bent over to pet a scruffy cat with a needful meow. But her comfort-giving backfired when the cat followed several feet behind her more than twenty blocks through the rain before finally giving up on a new friendship.
Some people suggested that I move to another town. But there’s a strange comfort in going alone all the places we used to go together: it proves you’re not necessary for this world and this life to exist.
He could not admire those who forced themselves to “do good.” But he couldn’t help admiring those from whom generosity flowed freely.
She had always thought of her father as an unreasonably harsh disciplinarian and had little if any recollection of his tenderness. Yet later on in life, her brother reminded her that when she had been very small and made what she considered to be a “gourmet” sandwich of ham, barbecue sauce, Fritos, and Tang sprinkled on top for good measure, their father had eaten it all and told her several times how good it was.
The sisters could not get along. There were so many trigger words in their respective vocabularies that even the most mundane comment from either of them would immediately be interpreted by the other as a scathing insult.
I’m glad I got dumped by everyone before my current boyfriend, and that I couldn’t get hired for any job until the one I’ve got now. I was willing to settle for something mediocre, but time and again, rejection spared me that fate.
When she first went away to college, she was excited to join the student group organized around social justice. She dropped out a few months later with the impression that behind a flimsy façade of civil rights-inspired rhetoric, it was all just an excuse for people to smoke up together, trade indie badges, and get laid without having to go to a club.
Everyone has those nightmares (easily dismissed once they’ve graduated into the workforce) in which they’ve forgotten to study for an exam or to turn in a project.
The hardest thing about going back to grad school was waking up from one of these nightmares with the momentary uncertainty of whether or not it might be true.
All during his life, most types of learning came naturally to him. It was both a blessing and a curse because, seldom having been forced to cultivate patience, he would become doubly frustrated on the rare occasions that he couldn’t readily absorb a new technique or concept.
He liked icing, and she liked cake. They grew fat together.
When he died, her father left her an inheritance large enough to travel the world many times over. She was so wracked by guilt that she had a recurring nightmare in which she was a cannibal—literally living off the remains of the dead.
She justified being overweight by saying she wanted someone to fall in love with her for her and not her body. A couple decades of loneliness and thirty pounds of M&Ms later, she began to wonder if her body wasn’t really a part of her after all.