Lester was the guy who talks loud in public bathrooms, pretending he’s on a cell phone, “Yes it’s me, in London all week banging the blond bitch.
Hay I’m offerin 2 mil for the land, farm included, take it or leave it you mother-f, and you better not hang up.

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Doom’s Wordsmith

For his writing instruments, Marcus uses fountain pens made from black ivory and blessed by a witch doctor in New Guinea. He lances the blood from his very veins to provide these pens with the only kind of ink that appeases their hunger, lest something unfortunate happens to him.

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We have killed the angels before they had time to teach us the following things:
how to smile, how to love, how to tie a shoe, how to pet a cat, how to forgive, how to forget. We are calmer now then we once were , because we have finnaly came to the righteous conclusion that our race is now rightfully absolete.

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I’ve broke down and cried my lungs out after I ran as far as I could from myself to reach some sort of safe-zone that wasn’t even on the map of my soul. They say I’ll get better but I know they’re just lying to me because since I’ve been inside this empty, white door place, with no one to keep me company only the sun is now burning my eyes…

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I saw Keith everywhere the next day, he was on trees, fences and his head was somehow on top of an electric pole, then because the neighbors love me they presented his penis to my father, but dad didn’t show it to me.

That was just the first boy in my life, they all died about like that and I’m an Urban Legend, thats known to be followed by spirits and murder.

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Most female students interviewed echo the feelings of Matti Malard who has a nearby room and says, “I’ve seen Mr. Overton and he’s dremy, it make me excited being in his building, and maybe he’ll drag me to his room next and ‘do’ me.

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Unsightly Teeth

My flaw of bad teeth made me a hermit hiding out in the ice house and then before I knew it came the end of the really human wold with poison death.
I did find Wanda in the woman’s prison, but you can’t call it love when someone is so very terrified of your teeth they sometimes wet their pants.

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Betty’s Cross

It’s nice when the departing, dying mother does not screw her daughter into a dead light socket like Betty’s mother did.
Linnie said, “Yes I strangled your mother while you ate a sandwitch in the hospital cafeteria, and so have a obedient life sucker.

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When she was good she was looking past her drunken mother, but after her dad died, she just became herself and that was bad. The bad girl stabbed the man-boy and her mother she did strangle the air all out of!

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Damn Flamingos…

I watched this document on exotic birds, and for some reason the flamingos really struck my nature, particulary the Andean flamingo; I voyaged down to the High Andes of Chile, only to witness a beautiful flock of these majestic birds, and by the power of Thor, one flew within literally arms reach of me and exclaims, “Sir, you must pay close extremely close attention, before everyo-,” he stares prominently at my nose, then demands, “…are you Jewish?” I dumbfoundedly replied, “… well, yes, what does tha-,” before i even finished, damn bird scampered…racist bastards.

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Remember when we used to edit those submissions to the literary magazine? We would call out the best-worst lines of the big x-ed over pieces to each other melodramatically and fall apart in giggling.

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