I take my husband with me to feed the dogs. They chew on his bones for hours.
Moving on, moving out, moving up, moving away. Only looking back to say “I love you”.
Rachel couldn’t stand the sound of her husband’s snoring every night, and even worse the questions he asked each time she would tell him about it; “Does it sound like this?” he would ask. Months later they adopted a dog, Morty, and Morty snored eactly like Rachel’s husband – “There you go, it sounds just like that!”
Today is my birthday and i was suppose to have a party, my mom came to me and said im not having one, so i started to cry( like dramticly) , so i went to my dad and he said that he loves me very much so he thought that when you love some one so much all you need to do is show how much you love them and thats how my sweet 16 turned out.So i guess i really dont need a paty after all….
you fucking lie through your teeth like you were being sentenced to death. i asked for the truth, and all you did was throw a flashbang in front of me and run.
The familiarity of what was going on, coming to with a mask over his face and someone beating him on the chest, scared the hell out of him, but not enough to prevent him from bolting from the stationary ambulance where he had just been placed.
He knew the routine after all because he was a paramedic himself, but also a drug addict who needed to get back to his true love – heroin.
As he placed the tube of ointment into his travel kit, Paul marvelled at the new significance the song “Great Balls of Fire” had taken on in his life. He’d always remember running from that tree, pants around his ankles, wasps swarming around his groin, and toilet paper streaming behind him.
I’m not going to change my mind.
Besides, I think it’s out of the warranty period.
People all around the world are really addicted to this “true love” thing, huh?
Maybe some kind of partner exchange program will help them out.
They said they expected high performance.
Sure, I can steal stuff off Wikipedia better than anyone I know.
I wonder how many miles I am from my future grave.
Is it here in Australia or on the other side of the world?
I can’t wait until I’m wiki-famous!
Or wiki-infamous, I don’t care.
A clown came through my drive thru at work yesterday. Stupid circus.
As a young child, my father placed the crayon in my right hand; watched as I transferred it to my left hand; patiently returned the crayon to my right hand. He laughed aloud as I again transferred the crayon to my left hand, realizing that his daughter was a southpaw.
See this twenty cents?
It is the change I want to see in the world.
On our anniversary.
You’re with someone not me.
As if by magic, some handsome stranger came up to me asking me out and offering me the job that I have always dreamed of having for a salary that could buy me a house made entirely of shoes!
It was so surreal that I thought I was dreaming – because I was.
“Do you speak english?”
“no, just american.”
Black, brown, with steamed milk or without, or maybe an espresso or a frappuccino (what’s the difference between that and cappuccino anyway?) – I’m taking my time weighing options to find the best, the perfect choice, and although I know it’s just house policy, the smile she gives me is the sweetest smile, the very definition of beauty: patiently soothing my insecurity, assuring me that my choice, if and when it comes, will be appreciated, while I’m determined to make the most of this moment, aware that her smile distracts and delays me even more. Amanda was right, I really needed to get out more.