In the alley behind the Nursing Home, they recycle the withered bodies of former residents in gray bins. Once a week, infants swaddled inside plastic totes appear on the front doorstep.
I feel sometimes I’m playing the role of my younger self.
He’s funnier, better-looking and way more interesting.
I’ve always said “I love you” about six months before it being true.
I guess my true love won’t try to pull it from me.
t get too close to mirrors they love smiling at you when you come close
Despite having many jobs where people call me a writer I still don’t believe it.
(I’m just faking it everybody …)
Oh dear you seem to be breaking up.
Time to patch the clay girl.
The dreams that seemed no real, the promise unforgotten, and the feeling unsurpassed. That is true love.
Franco and Big Mountain Man, alcoholic German puppets, and their dog Schnapps sit around and discuss yet another 1940s cabinet maker.
After that, there’s some sport or something.
The court was filled up and the clerk read out the charge sheet. The defendant claimed an alibi for the night of the murder and the Judge returned verdict of not guilty.
The son of an old wretched woman got jailed yesterday for farting in the public where at the same time the tension danced spirally through my bowels and I felt the disgracing element moving towards my anus. I blew it and laughed, paid a bulky bribe and got honoured (OFR).
Sorry about the hurting, yeah?
I was bored and you were there and what else do you want?
I love seeing the moon in the sky during the day.
It reminds me the world is not alone.
She stood so close to me that I was able to see my face in her pupils. My nipples hardened in a desperate try to prove that they still have some purpose in this world.
Crystal had made more money this week with her writing than she had in a long time, and she won a short story contest so it was a productive week. Then she woke up and realized it was only a dream, oh well, she thought, one day I will get there!
Bill called Charlie to warn that rampaging, famished zombies were heading his way, but if he gave them chocolate chip cookies, they’d eat the cookies and not his brains.
When the starving zombies arrived, Charlie offered them dozens of chocolate chip cookies, but they ate his brains anyway saying he’d been terribly misinformed, because their latest food fad was chocolate cream pie.
As she talked, I fell asleep.
Relationship status conversations are boooooring.
Of the seven deadly sins of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride, you have five, while of the seven Heavenly virtues of chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness and humility, I possess six.
So your lust trumped my chastity, your gluttony overcame my temperance, my kindness supplanted your greed, my patience outlasted your pride and my humility exacerbated your wrath one morning, which is why our relationship is better than most
Miss New World Order appeared during a Super Bowl commercial break and announced Jiffy Dog, a space-age miracle product, by which magnificent dogs were created by pouring powder into a bucket, adding tap water, and stirring three times.
Billions of boxes of Jiffy Dog sold instantly, and the world was so enthralled by the product that supplanted real dogs, the Jiffy Corporation quickly introduced two more miracle products: Jiffy Cat and Jiffy Wife.
Hey French girl!
I had this big plan involving my “shit” and “getting it together”.
All the plans involving girls screwed that right up.