Put the cow in the pen.
That’s one big pen.
King
I am the King.
Now watch me rule this box.
Exchange
I exchanged a glance with her.
I swapped it for a pointed look.
Never Say Goodbye
I leaned over the coffin, my hot tears falling on her cold face, and told her that I loved her.
‘Then kiss me,’ she said.
This post submitted by Mark McAuliffe
Dogs
Dog on my left and dog on my right.
Dogs all around me.
Just Like Us
Clem Sulfide was dead drunk when the aliens invaded, so he missed the conquest entirely. When he sobered up, he never noticed the difference.
Let it come to you
I’ve always wondered…why would anyone need to paddle up shit creek? If you want the crap that badly, just stand in the water and it will come to you.
Come and leave
Come with me, if you care to.
Leave with them, if you want.
The Day the Sadness Ended
At last, my life is over.
The End.
Potato
Potato potato potato.
The mighty king of vegetables.
Tragedy #2
One bright summer morning, she wakes up crying. She doesn’t love him anymore.
AstroKnothead
Thinking with his genitalia had gotten Crispin Snatscatcher in trouble many a time. Though none of his planetary invasions had proven fatal thus far, most of the habitable worlds in the galaxy were teeming with unviable mutants that were the results of his, shall we say, alien encounters.
Toothbrushes
Toothbrushes grow on trees.
You didn’t know this?
A Fable of Sorts
Somewhat disoriented after waking up in a strange hotel room after his first night in town, Belson Crandle could not remember where he put his shoes. He finally found them in the ice bucket, newly polished and filled with vanilla pudding and dead mice.
Thinking
I think about you.
Are you thinking about me?
Odd
He said “that’s pretty funny” rather than laughing.
Odd, no?
Apple
You are the apple of my eye.
Perhaps it is time to … peel?
Were They Strong?
She was a Doctor at a children’s hospital in Nagasaki starting the day after the bomb.
Her first day there lasted 103 hours, but even then she could not sleep for the horror.
Dud Muffin
Every single night, I sleep with me, myself, and I. I consider myself lucky to have daily threesomes.
Battle
The ongoing battle with the neighbours has become a war of attrition.
They took out our toaster with a surgical strike, we cut off their communications with the destruction of their letterbox and soon, soon my friends, we will invade their lounge and end this for once and all.