Being in the big city is great for all the culture.
In ten years I think I’ve been to maybe … thirty things that wouldn’t be available in the country.
tb
What does it mean teebee?
Where will you be teebee?
Business Is Business
As the huge pot began to boil, Harry hollered, “I have herpes, syphilis, leprosy, so I’ll taste lousy, not to mention cannibalism causes madness and tribal extinction.”
His non-English speaking captors were entrepreneurs, not cannibals, so they sold the 30 gallons of chunky soup, 150 patties, 28 pounds of jerky and 500 sausages they derived from Harry’s carcass to tribes that were.
Silence
I tried to lie that my silence didn’t mean anything.
She saw right through me.
Juncture
With the grim prognosis delivered in the sterile environment of the doctor’s office, James scooted his chair closer to Sarah’s, patting her hand, realizing she was at a juncture in her life for mending fences with her estranged sibling, even though he knew reconciliation would be difficult after so many years of hurt feelings stemming from a long ago forgotten slight.
“Absolutely not,” was Sarah’s initial reaction to the suggestion followed by, “I’m not in the mood to listen to helpful hints from the healthy,” leaving James to understand any bringing of the two together would be solely up to him.
Work
The amount you are paying me by the hour isn’t enough to make me forget that I am trading away something irreplaceable.
Lucky for you I don’t have anything better to do right now.
Big Top
The thickly applied make-up became grotesque beneath the unforgiving fluorescent lighting, illuminating the horror lurking in the face of a thousand nightmares. I wondered then how I’d managed to wind up in the staff toilets at the Spurling Brothers circus.
Cola
When he said he wanted something else I misunderstood him and offered a different type of cola.
He accepted the different type of cola but for some reason it didn’t make him happy.
Colours
If you don’t like soul red we’ve got spirit green or depression blue.
You don’t want that one – it’s marketing shit brown.
Truth
Ok, the truth – I am thinking of someone else when we have sex.
It is you, before we got married and you dropped your happiness somewhere.
Clean Slate
Robotic computers annihilate mankind. Earth reboots.
Ideas
Three insane ideas really rule my life.
Never go back to someone who has rejected you, making your own t-shirts is interesting to girls, getting fat once you have a girlfriend is ok.
Scarborough Beach
I cry when I remember the walk to Scarborough Beach.
I cry for the loss.
From E.H
Just look at me, I’m rolling over in my grave. What ever happened to writing the old-fashioned way, with pencil?
Love & Bottle of Bleach
I love you…I love you…I love you. “Right, you, ya little twat – clean it off, I’ve just painted that fuckin’ wall!”
The only option
After I lost my girlfriend, my job, my hair and the washing machine blew up, there was only one thing to do.
Lube up, baby and let’s fuck our way outta trouble!
Oh, for Heaven’s Sake
“Lars, the sheep was one thing, but that goat’s hoofs are puncturing the waterbed.”
“But, honey, you said you liked animals.”
A pointless list
Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Shinto, Confucianism, Christianity, Atheism.
Oh, and Imaginary-a-Tism, too.
Finally
Sitting on a stairway, sweat turning my skin into a shiny sheen, I see the light.
“You can come home now.”
Happy Ending
She chortled when she saw me, so I shot her in the heart. But as she lay dying, the look of amusement never left her eyes.