Are We Ever Going to Duet?

I knew love was on the line, but I was exhausted and running around the issue wasn’t going to cut it anymore. So instead of serving it I threw the plate of asparagus he made at his feet, bellowing over him to drown out his warbling, “Goddamnit, John, you know I wasn’t asking about singing!”

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Rating: 6.7/10 (18 votes cast)

Bessie

Bessie, my white-faced golden retriever, trotted over to greet me with a smile and a wagging tail as she always does. She’s the best dog I’ve ever had, and I only wish I was still alive so I could give her the belly rub she so rightfully deserves.

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Rating: 7.7/10 (21 votes cast)

Loveable

I hate most people – I hate their smell, I hate their voices, I hate their sad and depressing stories, I hate how they try to control me, how they try to make me do things, how they try to persuade me to kill myself, but honestly, the one who I hate most is my mother, she should care about me, not laugh at those idiocies, while who-knows-what kind of supstance goes down her digestive system, again. My mother is a pregnant woman, and once I’m born, I will kill them all.

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Rating: 8.3/10 (45 votes cast)

The Morning After

On the first morning that Harriet woke up next to the young tan man beside her who barely spoke a word of English, she worried to herself, “Have I made a foolish mistake?”. 35 years of mornings later and she smiled as she watched the sleeping tan man in her life lay next to her, and she reveled in knowing that it was the best foolish mistake she had ever made.

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Rating: 7.1/10 (35 votes cast)