As I woke to the oddly-smelling, dirty motel room, I reflected on why I was here. It was all because of an argument, and now there was a strange woman with me in a strange place, and I had an odd-looking rash where rashes oughtn’t be; why do these things happen to me?
When across the kingdom the traveler did come to aide his friend in need, it was obvious he wanted more but with each touch and hug, she would rebuke him every time.
Her boyfriend did move in to protect his fair maiden and it spoiled the intentions of the traveler, who left quickly and told all who would listen, that it happened the other way.
Let’s do it one more time before that sweet feeling fades.
C’mon, bruise me!
She enjoyed sexual experimentation.
Eventually there were few sections of the supermarket she could walk in without feeling turned on.
You know that cute look I get on my face when we have just had sex?
I’m actually trying to use mind-power to travel back in time, away from you, forever.
I once got to sleep with someone because when we first met I had the flu and I totally ignored her.
Learn from this, my son.
The ridiculous secret of their lovemaking wasn’t covered by the music he always put on.
Imagine a thunderous storm apparently concealed by the tinkling of a music box to get an idea of scale.
Sex never even crossed my mind, until two
hours and four beers later, you said I love you. Oh well.
We slept together twice, in case you’ve forgotten.
Maybe you should stop asking my advice on your next doomed relationship.
That deep and meaningful conversation we had was just a ploy to get in your pants.
For a hot night with you I’d even talk like, pro sports or something.
She used to get down on her knees a lot.
Not for praying.
Tia tried out many invitations to boys over the years.
The most successful: come conquer me.
He may have slept in those bed sheets.
But Honey, I’m the one that made you change them.
He was a fireman and studying to be a plumber. He came over to fix my shower and after that was done, he showed me his hose.
Let’s be naughty, she lied.
I’m going to spank you, he lied.
I caught my husband having sex with the girl that lives down the road,today. The one girl he constantly complained that her boobs and ass were too big, he was repulsed by them and that he didnt understand why men would b attracted to her.
We salute you, hot Swedish girls.
We salute you with our hand and other body parts.
Look, I’m having a little trouble trying to concentrate on your marketing presentation.
Just over an hour ago I was cock deep in my girlfriend and I can still smell her on my fingers (plus you are SO boring it’s not funny).
You’ll never see your wife and children
again. So tell us what it was going through your head when you looked into their eyes
and said “no thanks I’ll take the hooker instead.”
18 year old, 19 year old, 9 months pregnant, all holes, army, audition, banana, barely legal, bed sex, big nipples, bondage, bottle, braces, caning, chained, classy, corset, cute, doggystyle, drooling, dyed hair, electrified, face fucked, fat teen, fitness, foursome, gagged (bite or ball), gloves, hairy arms, hitch hiker, housewife, insertion, jeans, jungle, kitchen, Korean, lactating, lezdom, lollipop, machine fucking, massage, mouthful, nun, nurse, nympho, oldy, oriental, pale, pedal pumping, police, ponyplay, POV (point of view), pregnant teen, pussypump, red bottom, riding, rubber, satin, schoolgirl, skinny, speculum, submissive, tickling, tricked, uniform, university, vacuum torture, waitress, whip, wired pussy, xmas, young.
Oh, and true love.