It wasn’t all bad.
Sometimes she made food.
Tag: relationships
Apparently girls just wanna have fun.
Lying in bed last night she tearfully asks me, “If I hadn’t told you I loved you, would you have still slept with Tasha?”
This morning I think that if it hadn’t been so damn good, I might feel guiltier.
Revenge
Of all the men she could have or should have married, she had to pick the most venal, corrupt, two-timing, charming rascal that ever drew breath.
When the police asked her why she did it, she replied, “Not for God or country, womanhood or honor, rather, for the pure visceral satisfaction of chopping his beautiful body into pieces.”
Shakespeare Al Fresco
The spellbinding and heart-wrenching tale of Romeo and Juliet can be summed up in a mere few words; they came, they shagged, they died. In this, they were like every other human couple who joined biological forces, except that the title pair were in such a toxic rush.
It’s not you, it’s me
He thought of all the possible reasons to stay: the sex, her ability to just quietly listen when he had to pour out his heart, her timeless smile, her soft, pliant body, the sex, the way she was always there for him, the sex…
“Look, we’ve had some fun times, and you’re great and everything, but I’ve met someone real,” he said to the blow-up doll.
Icy.
Only two out of a thousand say yes, aye, but none are worth the time. That’s why you drink — you drink so that most of your tears (and piss) evaporates, so that you won’t freeze when given the cold shoulder.
Fairy Tale Ending?
“No one understands our love,” the dragon sighed.
“Interspecies relationships will take time to be accepted,” the princess said, “But at least he had nice stuff to add to our hoard.”
Love at First Sight
I was so intent on staring at Tina Miller, with her blond hair and cheerleader body, that I failed to notice the open locker and I was knocked to the floor.
A mousy girl helped me pick up my books and took me to the nurse to treat the gash on my forehead, and that was how I met your mom.
The Honeymoon is Officially Over
Jess stands in her bloody, torn nightgown, silently willing her hands to stop trembling, as she carefully aims the rifle. Her hands steady and her focus clears as she reminds herself that just one well-placed shot, fired quickly before he awakens, is all it’ll take to end his reign of abuse and her short-lived marriage.
Glory
As the Prima ballerina took a final bow at the last performance of her 40 year career, she reflected on the many prizes, accolades, awards, flowers and recognition she had received due to her excellent interpretations of all the classic and modern dances her company had made famous.
But a single tear ran down her cheek when she realized that because of her unbridled ambition, instead of going home to the house she had once shared with her one true love, she would spend the night entirely and heartrendingly alone.
She Gets The Last Laugh
Sadly, she laid the two-carat diamond band on the table in front of him. She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, ‘I pawned the real one ten years ago, dear, this one is as fake as our marriage was.’
Opposites Attract
Of the seven deadly sins of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride, you have five, while of the seven Heavenly virtues of chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness and humility, I possess six.
So your lust trumped my chastity, your gluttony overcame my temperance, my kindness supplanted your greed, my patience outlasted your pride and my humility exacerbated your wrath one morning, which is why our relationship is better than most
Nervous Chatter
“So, essentially, I think time travel is a real possibility, despite the Casimir effect, if we can develop a self-directed artificial intelligence and send it through a natural wormhole in space, because over time it could travel to earth and build a stable artificial portal,” he rambled.
“Have you ever BEEN on a first date before?” she asked.
Goodbye
I turned to look at you as you looked back at me. With tears long gone, life went on and the memories will always be.
Thy Silence
My head is full of voices. But I can’t sleep because I don’t remember the sound of yours anymore.
Contradictions
I heard her when she said, “I just want you to be happy, so I’m leaving you,” but I couldn’t understand it.
I thought I already was.
Intervention
Anger and shame welled up inside Henry’s addled brain as he waited for the first of his accusers to start listing the awful things he’d done to them. Five years of meth-use had wrecked every relationship he’d ever had and he knew it, the knowing told him this confrontation with his family, friends and coworkers was his only chance to live in the real world again.
Your choice.
You promised that you would never end the it by choice. You chose.
Shimmery Bright
The world is beautiful with tears in my eyes. What could it be without?
Didn’t ask, won’t tell
I wasn’t lying when I told him I didn’t dance with another man. But he didn’t ask me if I kissed one.