Category: Competition

In a billion years, the Earth will be engulfed in the crimson fire of a bloated sun, as the great life-giving orb enters its death-throws.

On that fateful day, when you look upon it from your ethereal plain of eternity, what will you say was the point of it all, if not to escape?

It was yesterday when you last saw her, wasn’t it? Mass of wavy black hair swaying, her black boots dotted with blue bubbles plodding at the asphalt as she walked away from you for the very last time.

Jasper Crosswhite was a man who could truly appreciate the exquisite pleasures offered by the well-picked booger. Fortunately, though a romantic by nature, he delighted in spending his weekend evenings watching movies and eating pecan pralines in the company of his dog, a chocolate Lab named Hanky.

I bite the dreams other men would merely kiss.

If it’s not edible, why waste your time?

Risking a go at post-coital conversation as he got up and walked out the room, Stan Huckjaw said to the woman whose name evaded him at the moment, “I’m gonna grab a sandwich and hit the shitter.” Somehow, he instinctively knew to flinch, even though the exclamation “Pig!” hit his ears no sooner than a four inch heel hit the back of his head.

Phil could still remember the day he saw the first crack begin running up the living room wall of what he had once considered his dream home. It was about nine months later that he ran to the unused nursery in response to the screams of his wife, to find that two possums had moved into the box that still contained the never-assembled crib.

Life’s a headache; a deep throbbing pain that’s not going to stop until you drop into your grave in the cold, cold ground.

Yet, even after all the years of tears, watching great men give in to their fears, we will still come back to do it all over again, gladly, if only time permits.