What do you want, I asked my thirteen-year-old impatiently.
Nothing, she snapped.
Category: Competition
Competition
Best Friend
When he dropped out of school I did too, I got married right after him, had kids and killed my wife for the insurance just like he did.
I followed his plunge off the Westgate Bridge too, finally answering “yes” to Mums timeless question.
The Visitor
You come home to see your wife. You don’t know which is more creepy,seeing your dead wife or knowing that someone broke in to kill her.
The Visitor
You come home to see your wife. You don’t know which is more creepy,seeing your dead wife or knowing that someone broke in to kill her.
Dumping the Pain
I sat, agonizing, wishing I’d made a different choice, and hoping the pain would end soon. After one last, sharp twinge expelled the demon mass from my body, I sighed, flushed, and went to rejoin the party, grabbing a cheese ball on the way.
Exterminator
I called another exterminator to deal with the rats in my basement. This one hasn’t come out either.
Rescue
When my crew and I were rescued from the deserted island, they found me covered in blood and surrounded by the bones of the rest of my crew. Now that I’m off the island, I’ll need a new excuse to keep eating people.
Newborn
My girlfriend and I just got an ultrasound of our first baby. I don’t know what’s creepier, the fact that our baby has cloven hooves, horns, and a tail or the fact that my girlfriend is a virgin.
Noises
Every night I hear strange noises coming from the basement, but my wife says it’s just rats. I know she’s wrong, rats don’t whisper “we’re gonna kill you”.
Brained
Struggling for a muse did I stumble forth into the gibbering maw of the world. I fell into the Grave clutching the baby-blue journal that freed my soul and the brick that both chained It and mashed my head in.
I sat at my computer, wondering if I could create a story with only two sentences. A moment later I realized that I already had.
Help
“You’re about to sleep and put your blanket on, one of your leg is freezing because it’s not covered by the blanket; you’re afraid of monster touches your leg. Then you cover it, and you pull the blanket to your head until it’s covered, under the blanket you sigh, yet it’s already there.”
Help
“You’re about to sleep and put your blanket on, one of your leg is freezing because it’s not covered by the blanket; you’re afraid of monster touches your leg. Then you cover it, and you pull the blanket to your head until it’s covered, under the blanket you sigh, yet it’s already there.”
Help
“You’re about to sleep and put your blanket on, one of your leg is freezing because it’s not covered by the blanket; you’re afraid of monster touches your leg. Then you cover it, and you pull the blanket to your head until it’s covered, under the blanket you sigh, yet it’s already there.”
Help
“You’re about to sleep and put your blanket on, one of your leg is freezing because it’s not covered by the blanket; you’re afraid of monster touches your leg. Then you cover it, and you pull the blanket to your head until it’s covered, under the blanket you sigh, yet it’s already there.”