Ok, the truth – I am thinking of someone else when we have sex.
It is you, before we got married and you dropped your happiness somewhere.
Category: Two Sentence Stories
Ideas
Three insane ideas really rule my life.
Never go back to someone who has rejected you, making your own t-shirts is interesting to girls, getting fat once you have a girlfriend is ok.
Scarborough Beach
I cry when I remember the walk to Scarborough Beach.
I cry for the loss.
The only option
After I lost my girlfriend, my job, my hair and the washing machine blew up, there was only one thing to do.
Lube up, baby and let’s fuck our way outta trouble!
A pointless list
Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Shinto, Confucianism, Christianity, Atheism.
Oh, and Imaginary-a-Tism, too.
Enviable
I didn’t say his death was “inevitable”.
I said it was “enviable”.
Tome
As she stormed out of our lives forever she dropped her massive tome of insane rantings.
Most of it was bullshit but she really made some good points about people who insist of using vanilla bean pods over vanilla essence.
Shit
Getting your shit together is not a process.
Getting your shit together is not a destination.
Sudo
Sudoyou.
Sudome.
Music
I’ve got to the point in my life that all the music I listen to is by dead people.
Not Zombie music, but that all the singers have died, I mean.
Game
Please stop playing the “would you still love me if” game.
I’ve already had to lie a few times and I really don’t like that.
Hungover
My time with you was much like an extended drinking session.
Sure it was good at the time but now I’m just hungover and sick.
Frog
The frog is green.
That took eight years to write.
Pinata
Why did you leave?
I had this big piñata just waiting to go.
Whore
Wearing that red lipstick totally does not make you look like a whore.
(Whore!)
Great
God is great!
So is pizza!
Promise
Some people just don’t understand that when I make a promise I actually mean it.
Yes I died but that isn’t going to stop us being together for eternity!
Obsess
Months now and I still obsess.
Why did you fall, my delicious ice-cream?
End of humanity
Robots with laser-eyes came to the door.
‘Dear, are you expecting the end of humanity today?’ she said.
Fun
Why don’t we just skip this whole getting to know each other stuff and just get married?
Man, no one wants to have fun anymore.