Opening up a butcher shop was the best idea I’ve ever had. I just hope people don’t ask me what kind of meat I sell, or why their kids keep disappearing.
Dream
Last night I dreamt that a hideous creature with glowing red eyes and long, pointed claws was standing at the foot of my bed watching me sleep. When I woke up this morning, I discovered it wasn’t a dream.
Rain
Since it’s been raining so much lately, I’ve been staying home most nights. It’s a drag for me, but I guess the neighbors are glad their kids have stopped disappearing.
Children
I love children. They taste so much better than adults.
Vampires
My father assured me that vampires don’t exist. Of course, that didn’t make me feel any better since it was the only explanation I had for why he kept drinking my blood.
Intruder
When I heard a man’s voice coming from the kitchen, I snuck down the stairs and bludgeoned him to death with a baseball bat. I probably should’ve done something less drastic, after all, it was his house.
Lavender
Her skin is so soft and smells like lavender. I wonder how many more times I can wear it before the smell of decay covers it up.
I love you
Sex never even crossed my mind, until two
hours and four beers later, you said I love you. Oh well.
Childhood
I ran carelessly through the green fields, wind playing hide and seek in my hair, and rain hop scotching down my nose and on to my awaiting tongue.
For I am a child again.
Dinnertime
I walked downstairs into my kitchen to make my dinner, but the pot was already boiling. I live alone.
Dinnertime
I walked downstairs into my kitchen to make my dinner, but the pot was already boiling. I live alone.
Excused
May I be excused?
I’ve got to go fuck up my life with no direction for the next thirty years.
Sugar and Spice
The childhood poem “Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of” suddenly seemed so funny to her 6-year-old mind, as she stomped on his coloring book reciting the poem louder and louder.
“Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails” is more like it she giggled, enjoying the satisfaction of ruining the class bully’s precious art work.
Clarity
The amazing clarity hit when I was sitting on the train halfway to work.
I ignored it and went to work anyway.
Bell
I have a tiny bell.
I keep it in the freezer next to my peas.
Revenge
“Don’t shoot him,” I ordered the soldier who was about to squeeze the trigger on the hapless 10-year old son of the slain terrorist leader lying supine on the ground. Next moment, I felt the cold blade of the army knife the boy had snatched from its holster in my belt and driven in one fell swoop into my stomach and the triumphant glint in his little eyes with the hand holding the blood-dripping knife hanging loosely by his side.
Reflection
I go down stairs to get some water as I sit down on the couch and look into the blank tv screen I see a reflection of a little girl (I’m home alone).
Dark Mountain
As I approached the dark mountain the air became heavier, colder and more oppressive. The growing shadow spread its bitter fingers around my heart and then I realised that it was the shadow of my soul.
Fear
I heard something taping on the ball behind me. When I turn my head I saw a huge spider with his mouth open ready to eat me.
Who?
I stared into the mirror.
His face stared right back!