Category: Two Sentence Stories

I can’t wait until I’m wiki-famous!
Or wiki-infamous, I don’t care.

See this twenty cents?
It is the change I want to see in the world.

On our anniversary.
You’re with someone not me.

You want proof invisibility has completely and utterly been achieved?
Think of all the people you know who are wearing invisible leashes.

Is it possible there is no point to anything?
Nah.

I took a wife when I was twenty-six.
Not my wife, of course.

Got myself a lover now.
How’s that … um … thing … you do?

In the beginning the ratio of conversation to access to your wet hot pussy was quite good.
In the end it was way tilted out of balance.

As soon as I saw Typewriter girl I knew she would be mine.
She really pushes my buttons.

I attributed all kinds of complex motivations to your behaviours and spent a long time working out how to work with you.
Then I realised I just needed to shake something shiny in your eyeline and you’d get distracted and totally forget all that marketing bullshit.

Did the cat know it would die that day it slipped over the neighbour’s fence?
Did it commit suicide because it couldn’t stand living with us anymore?

I travelled forward in time, eager to see what we had made of the world.
I turned up, found humans ruling everything and immediately went back with a mission to kill each and every single one of our going-to-get-too-big-for-their-collar pets.

I quit!
I did!

Add any of the following to any situation and it is immediately more awesome.
Zombies, monkeys, robots, lasers.

The Deathly Hallows.
Simply a masterpiece.

If women really truly understood the way males thought we’d be fucked.
And not in the good way it’s all about either.