Category: Two Sentence Stories

I am the darkness but I want to be the light.
Is there a point to fighting destiny?

Look over there at my jelly house.
Made of the finest imaginary materials available.

My birthday wish came true.
All the air turned to custard.

So stupid to ask if it was edible.
Anything is if you really try.

I robbed a bank.
It was my bank, but it was still a thrill.

I powdered the hats up, mixed them with water and heated them in a little spoon, ready for injection.
As I pushed the plunger I pretended I was in a TV show and so I shouted “we need 10CCs of FASHION stat!”

There is an endless stair.
Go slinky go!

Envelopes keep arriving from the future with best-selling books in them.
I’d type them out and submit them but man, typing is hard.

I wish there was a candy that was a tiny explosion of joy.
Nah, I’d probably get addicted.

He was so high on waiting that he didn’t even move when it started raining.
We called the ambulance and waited nearby, trying not to get too high on the delay.

I went to the harmacy and got some medicine.
It made me worse.

Once, for fun, I picked up the phone and dialled a number that was like 30 digits long.
A woman from 2204 answered, made some cryptic remark about ant people and then the phone went dead.

I blessed you with goodness and mercy.
What those other two fairy godmothers blessed you with for you to turn out like that I’ll never know.

Great, so the world belongs to the meek.
What the fuck am I going to do with my jumbo-mega-destructor laser cannons now?

The agreement between us was quite clear.
We may kiss anywhere except on the mouth.

Stealing your cookie and gulping it down is one of my favourite memories.
I’ve replayed it so many times it is getting thin and fading away.

During one drunken night I went online and must have bought all kinds of stuff because I keep getting packages in the mail now.
Why exactly did I join the Ham of the Month club?