After three months alone on the remote, uninhabited island I was longing to return to my university post. Unable to contact my ship, I made my way to the emergency rendezvous point only to find, tacked to a tree, a rumpled note reading, “missed you – be back next year.”
Sniper
Sometimes I go to the roof if my building with a sniper rifle and target people. That’s enough for me . . . for now.
Trapped
Marjorie loves the broad evening sky: a huge, hundred mile canvas of ambrosia, piled massively like a heavenly feast but delicately shaded in purple, grey and blue. She would see more from the balcony, her concrete diving board – but the ground leaps at her like a tiger, murderous and terrifying, whirling and falling and leaping again.
Beautiful sleeper
Every night while I sleep I meet the person of my dreams. Every morning I wake up and realize she’s lying next to me.
Selfie
I was alone when I took it. That wasn’t the case when I posted the selfie on Instagram.
Relativity
“I’m one lucky bastard”, he thought as he looked at the diamond ring he bought, and smiled once again. She looked into the distance as the plane left the runway, and whispered a final farewell to the city and the seven years of misery.
The New Year
“We must learn to move on,” she said. For the last time, we saw the fireworks reflect in our eyes as the memories clung desperately to the edges of the old year, only to be washed away— to be drowned in the new— far, far away.
The importance of being unimportant
Dear diary,
I was thinking about sticking my pencil into the little button-hole eyes of my boss who thinks he’s a big shot, treating me like some insignificant clerk that files meaningless papers over 9 hours a day, 365 days a year for more than 20 years, while I am actually the secret daughter of the President of the United States! But then again, he’s just a poor guy who doesn’t know the truth so I’ll continue to work through the night as I don’t want anyone to discover my hidden identity.
The Night Shift
Shortly after three, he climbed into bed and put his arm around me, releasing a tired sigh after working the night shift. Ten minutes later, the front door opened, and I heard my husband talking on his phone: “You don’t understand. He’s after us.”
Liam Neeson I’m not
I told them no amount of money could make me give up the lives of my own family, but I was wrong. I now know that no amount of money can make me forget what I’ve done.
Liam Neeson I’m not
I told them no amount of money could make me give up the lives of my own family, but I was wrong. I now know that no amount of money can make me forget what I’ve done.
The announcement
I need your attention please. Two lives have been lost and I kindly request that if found, please return them because they contain items of significance for their owners.
Formaldehyde
Mother: Do you think she will live forever?
Father: Yes, as long as she stays inside the bottle.
Coma
You know, they say that the first sign that you’re in a coma dream is a message telling you to wake up. Won’t you please wake up?
The Anatomy Lesson
Having driven the wooden stake cleanly through the sleeping vampire’s heart, Luke thought it was all over. He would soon learn, though, that some vampires have two hearts.
The Anatomy Lesson
Having driven the wooden stake cleanly through the sleeping vampire’s heart, Luke thought it was all over. He would soon learn, though, that some vampires have two hearts.
You
Her note read, “You are the blank verse written by the hand of a tragic poet with broken wings who wonders why this summer came”. She is still waiting on the edge of the rock with no answer…
The Firefighter
He failed his exams and felt the pain in his heart as his mind revealed the bright light of his catastrophic nature. He followed his nature and became the fire starter.
Confession
I love you and I have been watching and have been following you ever since I saw you, but I can’t bear it any longer. Please tell your guardian or whatever that is, that I won’t watch no follow you anymore, and tell it to please stop visiting and whispering things at night while I sleep.
The worst neighbours in the world
She asked them nicely not to throw loud children’s parties, to keep their garden clean and their cats out of her flowerbeds, but they didn’t listen. After things had quieted down, she kindly volunteered to clean up the garden and help search for the missing cats, even though she knows exactly where they are (the children too)… but she isn’t telling.