Once I got lost in a huge shopping centre.
They found me pretty quickly but next time they won’t be so lucky.
Find hope
Find the inspiration and the hope and the joy and the application and combine them all together.
Hope to find somewhere to sell the result before you find the sloth and the greed and the bottle and the endless wasted days.
Reality
Success has different meaning to each individual. Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.
Janitor
Every day the janitor put on a lab coat and walked the halls, comforting patients, family and friends.
The hospital dare not fire him because deaths have dramatically dropped.
the big fight
once, there was a brawl between mr. a.p. test and mr. senior itis. guess who won.
She Gets The Last Laugh
Sadly, she laid the two-carat diamond band on the table in front of him. She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, ‘I pawned the real one ten years ago, dear, this one is as fake as our marriage was.’
Photograph
This exact moment in time and arrangement of scenery captured through the lens of the camera by the simple click of a button will soon be lost and unattainable. There’s always reminiscence.
Lone Bride
The lone bride gazed down on her tear-soaked white gown, knowing her fiance would not return to the chapel. Sighing in acceptance and defeat, she began the long walk home.
Continuity problems
I have continuity problems.
I’ll tell you what my problem is, I said.
Heart Shatter
My wife, whose love and devotion means more to me than anything else in the world, is due to have our first child in August. Today I found out I’m sterile.
Swedish
We salute you, hot Swedish girls.
We salute you with our hand and other body parts.
Presentation
Look, I’m having a little trouble trying to concentrate on your marketing presentation.
Just over an hour ago I was cock deep in my girlfriend and I can still smell her on my fingers (plus you are SO boring it’s not funny).
Testing one’s patience
“Ok, class,” the tired and exasperated teacher intoned to the rowdy 8th graders sitting before him, some tossing spitballs at one another, you will now take one of the most critical tests of the year, but before you start, it’s important that you pay attention to the instructions: Take a plain sheet of ruled paper and print your name in the upper right corner, making sure it is legible, because if it isn’t I will trash can it, along with your Mod number, and the date, then begin by writing the question, followed by your answer, all questions and answers to be written with a #2 pencil, no open books, no talking, no getting out of your chair for any reason, no asking me questions, especially silly ones, for any reason,no asking to go to the bathroom or if you can sharpen your pencil or asking if this test counts, just begin the test Now!”
“Yo, Mr. Smith, could you repeat that please?”
Timmy wadded the tissue up, licked it, stuffed it through the straw, and blew.
Travis eyes followed the wad up to the ceiling where several other spit wads clung. “Cool…” he said, briefly forgetting about the old woman pushing a grocery shopping cart in the down stairs bathroom.
Being a writer
All the time at work the same deal.
Make this boring thing look interesting.
Letters
I write myself letters, seal them, and then write the age I must be when I can open them again.
Man, the me of 82 had better have a sense of humour because that last letter was a little insulting.
Beliefs
If your parents are crazy and bad then you are crazy and bad.
Something I used to believe.
Mythical
I like vampires, I like giants, I like elves, I like unicorns, I like griffins, I like astronauts, I like walking trees, I like virgins, I like dragons, I like mermaids, I like jews, I like banana bread, I like centaurs, I like demons, I like God, I like butter, I like girls like you.
I like anything mythical, made up, imaginary and completely fantastical.
Part
Does it seem strange that a good word like encourage has rage as part of it?
Or do all good things have an evil part?
King
It’s hard to write a horror story with Trump being President. How do you scare someone now?