My parents got the long convoluted reasons why I quit my job.
My friends got the short version: the Swedish girl.
Lemons
I don’t really have any inner demons.
I’ve got inner lemons though.
A man went to a zoo
A man went to a zoo with only one exhibit, a dog. It was a Shitzu.
Ol’ Factory
Smells of sweet hyacinth high in the air, and in your hair; of hemp shampoo, left me no choice but to forsake all twelve steps. Sometimes out of spite I like to forget about what’s best for me, in lieu of bringing out the worst in you.
The Perfect Girl
We’ve been together for a long time: we lay in the same bed at night, we bathe together, whenever she goes outside i follow her; i love her, she’s the perfect girl for me.
I wish I met her when I was still alive
The Plumber
He was a fireman and studying to be a plumber. He came over to fix my shower and after that was done, he showed me his hose.
War Form
We take significant measures to avoid contact with alien flesh or silicon. In matters involving serious conflict we rain asteroids on worlds.
Naughty
Let’s be naughty, she lied.
I’m going to spank you, he lied.
Jedi
I’ll betcha this happened at Jedi school a lot.
“Whya hitting yourself?”
The Jump
While I was falling, my last thoughts were of Dr. Morrow and his quest for a miracle cure. Now (as detached from life’s everyday struggles as one could be) the solution seemed obvious.
Unfaithful
I caught my husband having sex with the girl that lives down the road,today. The one girl he constantly complained that her boobs and ass were too big, he was repulsed by them and that he didnt understand why men would b attracted to her.
Two lost souls
Walking hand in hand through the glistening wet sand, as the water lapped at their feet the young couple did walk without a care in the world. Without warning the surge carried them far out to sea where they were together forever, just a memory of what could have been.
Hey Gods
Hey Gods out there – just wanted to let you know something.
Oh, wait, there’s no one there.
“Swish: Maria in the Mourning”
“Her spirit left in that ambulance. Did she rise up to see Jake working on her frantically and thank him as a final irony before she went away?”
Lust
Whenever John walks past me,i catch my breath. Whenever he walks past John, John catches his breath.
Deep
I always think you should slow down and enjoy life. But when I do, I can’t.
Lonely bored
So you were lonely and I was bored and on we went.
Then you got bored and now I’m lonely.
Relationships
You said you loved me and promised that we would be together forever. Now you’re moving to New York for college; what happened to your promise?
Antidote
We played the poison game, each time delaying the gulping of antidote.
One of us is going to win pretty soon.
Peaked
Writing children’s books was beautiful and I loved it.
I fear I peaked too soon.