After a lengthy career of art theft, he was captured, tried, and sentenced to several years in jail. He got out, wrote a book about it, and made more off the royalties than he ever had off stolen art.
Tag: crime
Ha Ha The Way Lois Died
She got the knife in her own room as she danced to the Rolling Stones and didn’t see it coming, ha, ha, ha! That was my start of a life of crime, and boy does it pay, more than any other girl I know: ha, ha, double ha.
Shambles
One shot and he is dead. Though dry eyed dragging the bloody corpse, she breaks down when she drops his limp body in the hole and his collar jingles.
The Intruder
Angela was consumed with fear each time her husband left the house thanks to the increase in crime in her neighborhood so she secretly bought a gun to protect herself. One morning the security alarm went off so Angela ran down the stairs and shot the shadowy figure that was trespassing; Angela turned on the light only to find her husband lying in a pool of blood holding a bouquet of roses.
Lost
Two things were playing on his mind. The first being that they’d misspelt his name on the wanted poster.
The Ironic Move
She waited 15 years to finally have stability and even begged her husband to get a stable job so she could get out of God forsaken Wales – a beautiful country with hardly any crime. Unfortunately, they wound up moving to Houston – an ugly city with nothing but crime.
Exigent Circumstances
I tried to get into the house the ‘legal’ way–do the knock and talk thing before serving my warrant. Finally, I had to use a shotgun on the deadbolt…at the exact moment that six year old was struggling to open the door.
The witness
He was a policeman doing his usual duty to stand among a bunch of other policemen in front of a see-through mirror. His blood froze when he was identified as the culprit even though he was in service on the day of the crime.
Financial mercy
He was desperate to get hold of money for his seriously ill mother even if it meant embezzling it from the company he was working for. Soon it was discovered and he was asked to leave but the debt stayed.
Suicide Note
I ain’t never killed a man who wasn’t in need of the killin’.
That said, I figure I only got just abut this one job left.
Hard Time
He walked out of Prison a changed man.
After a dime and a half he learned everything he needed to hunt down and kill the bastards who’d framed him.
Incident at the Owl Street Liquor Store
The kid charged up to the cash and jammed a .38 in the cashier’s face.
“Oh good,” said the cashier, his jaws unfurling, “Lunch is here!”
Execution
He watched in terror as the Nembutal was pushed into his veins.
A moment later his fear disintegrated into oblivion.
Kleptomania
We were making out ahd she pushed me down on the bed. When she pushed up my skirt and pulled down my panties I realized I’d picked the wrong day to steal her diamond labret
Shock
Kelly was my girlfriend at the time and she tried to shock me one day by showing me that she had shaved her head. I just laughed because I knew I had a far better shock waiting for her in my backyard where I kept the dead bodies of all the people I had murdered.
The Theft
I had a thing for the peanut posters plastered in every subway car. Late one night, emboldened by booze, I ripped one out of its flimsy frame and felt surprised no one else seemed to notice.