To Save a Life

The cacophony created by the amateur guitarist’s amplifier reached the ears of Flufn’Stuff – who was daydreaming on the balcony of the third-story building next door – and threatened to throw her into a misanthropic rage. Having witnessed Flufn’Stuff’s last rage Kaylee, her minion, took matters into her own hands and saved the neighbor’s life by covertly micturating on the outdoor fuse box, shutting off their power.

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Rating: 6.5/10 (26 votes cast)

Mona Lisa

I’ve been told millions of times that my smile is beautiful, but a little forced. Your smile would be forced too if you’d been stuck in a painting for five hundred years listening to people critique you.

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Rating: 8.7/10 (24 votes cast)

Glass Half Full

There are some ideas that should stop at the stage called “That might be funny.” On the bright side, my health insurance is really friendly, the junkyard paid us a couple hundred bucks, and we found an exotic shelter that was willing to take the sugar glider.

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Rating: 5.1/10 (13 votes cast)

Shock

Kelly was my girlfriend at the time and she tried to shock me one day by showing me that she had shaved her head. I just laughed because I knew I had a far better shock waiting for her in my backyard where I kept the dead bodies of all the people I had murdered.

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Rating: 6.0/10 (51 votes cast)

Chaos at the Ballpark

The pitcher threw, the batter swung clumsily, and the bat flew from the player’s inept hands and soared across the crowded stadium at frightening speed.

The spinning rod flew into the stands and the panicked spectators rushed for safety, except for Jim, who looked up from his new video game three seconds too late to see the flying bat moving towards him and at that moment Jim painfully discovered that the new IPad 2 does not make a good shield against fast-moving projectiles.

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Rating: 6.6/10 (8 votes cast)