Babies scream and wave their arms so much because they’re just in an infinite reincarnation loop, living their own lives over and over again.
Or it’s because they’ve just been pushed out of a vagina I don’t know.
Category: Two Sentence Stories
Look
You know that cute look I get on my face when we have just had sex?
I’m actually trying to use mind-power to travel back in time, away from you, forever.
Playa
I gotta warn you baby, I’m a playa.
Rwoll with some monopoly, yo.
First date
The movie that describes our first date.
Interview with the Vampire.
Robot goldfish
My little robot goldfish runs on really tiny batteries.
They’re like AAAAAAAA or something.
Summoning
Master of Osiris, keeper of the gate, she who was here before us, the dark that has no name, the fire that burns, the chaos that echoes, we summon you to do our bidding.
I want a ham sandwich.
Justice
Bring me my socks of justice.
Bring me my pants of truth!
Lesson
I once got to sleep with someone because when we first met I had the flu and I totally ignored her.
Learn from this, my son.
Prediction
In the end things were so bitter between us we couldn’t stand to be in the same room.
A prediction for the future.
Cave
Men, go home to your wives and tell them the truth.
We tired of all our striving; we want to go back to the cave.
Success and happiness
I wonder if you were successful would you be happy?
Does the first depend on the second?
Lucky
As the model walked past me and winked I thought how lucky I was.
Then I felt really guilty for all my friends trapped in their shitty jobs.
Obvious
You really don’t need to tell me what you did.
There are no stars so it is pretty obvious.
Scale
The ridiculous secret of their lovemaking wasn’t covered by the music he always put on.
Imagine a thunderous storm apparently concealed by the tinkling of a music box to get an idea of scale.
Hear me
Hear me laughing.
Hear me lying.
Revolution
Wasn’t it funny that I used to joke that you’d be first against the wall when the revolution came?
Before they shot you I swear I saw you laughing.
Writer
Another day passed without me writing anything.
I wonder how long this will continue before I stop calling myself a writer.
Married
In the year he turned twenty-four he fell in love with four women.
He married the third.
Racist much
Oh Taco you silly billy.
Mexican gardeners – you can’t teach em!
Turban
Did you know you can make a turban out of a common household towel?
Fucking terrorist.