Category: Two Sentence Stories

Her teeth glowed so bright I had to wear an eye mask to bed.
That is a really good toothpaste.

Jump down here please.
Place the bomb here please.

Drunk on the couch again, but this time I can hear thunder outside.
Wonder if I’ll forget this night.

It happened so gradually that I didn’t really notice how I changed.
I suppose it started when I bought that silver belt buckle and now four years later everyone just refers to me as “the Cowboy”.

I broke my fall.
Next up, I’ll break my winter.

I match people with movie titles.
You used to be Clueless but now you’re just Jackass.

If you really knew how much I cared you would have walked across to me.
Instead you sit and talk and think that will work rather than just standing up and coming over.

Best, most satisfying invention, like ever?
Vagina – by God.

Hey babe, let’s go home and do a little meat-packing.
I’ll bring the meat.

I know!
Let’s make a movie about you and then everyone can just watch that and then you can shut the fuck up about yourself because everyone will say “oh, I’ve already seen that!”

You were just a butterfly drifting through life.
I was just a big hungry spider sitting in my web.

Let’s all chant it, because it is so true!
Hip-hip-hooray for sex!

Every time you talk marketing with me I imagine you saying “would you like fries with that?”
Please quit and give it a try – I think you’d be really good at it!

Mmm … yummy!
Your hollow praise is so delicious!

Why bother trying to get out of your rut?
Dig the ground out from those around you and make them fall.

The search for truth is long and hard.
So is a penis, ha ha.