The Jewish wedding and someone faints.
No one calls out “is anyone a doctor?”
Category: Two Sentence Stories
Foolish
How foolish that they ask “what is your biggest weakness?”.
They should ask it of themselves.
Did you
Did you ever here an egg beg?
Ever see a cow bow?
Before the fear
I know I said not to contact me and I do pretend I’m not interested in your life.
I still think about you; the cheerful happy version of you I glimpsed before the fear.
Saying you’re a writer
Being a writer never got anyone a roll in the hay.
Saying you’re a writer guarantees you’ll get your brains fucked out.
Changed
You changed man.
No, it’s just a new t-shirt.
Clear
It was clear from looking at him that he was Season-blind.
I mean, seriously, he was wearing footy shorts in Winter!
What happened to Two Sentence Stories (to hell with Webcity.com.au)
Hurro twosentencestory peoples!
Recent visitors may have noticed some strange things going on with the site. Ratings stars disappearing, sidebar comments gone, site unavailable, site vanished!
It was due to my sucky web host, Webcity.com.au. Never, ever, ever buy web hosting from these clowns. Trust me.
Thanks to their ineptitude I lost about 400 stories that were scheduled to be published. That’s not so bad — I just have to sit there for a few days again and put them in again.
But I did lose a few visitor submitted stories along the way. I have a text copy of the stories lost so I’ll be putting them back up again. If you see yours and it doesn’t have your name or link on it, please email me and I’ll fix it up.
You may notice some of the ratings have disappeared. I have a backup that I’ll be attempting to pull in the old ratings from. It may take a few days. In the meantime, rate away and it’ll merge later.
cheers,
Mat
Reset
Why can’t he go back to the person he was five years ago?
Why is there no reset button dammit.
Married!
If you want to be free, open that box there.
Mwah ha ha fooled you it’s an engagement ring and you touched it!
Writing
Every day I struggle to write SMG for no reason other than I must.
To you in the deep future: I hope you enjoy it for all the pain it caused me.
Puppet
The puppet withered under the harsh glare of the puppet master.
“It’s tap, step, tap, step step, you buffoon,” he said.
Ocean
The ocean is blue because of the sky.
They had a really bad breakup.
Rule
My foolish rule to never sleep with a girl unless I think there will be a relationship.
In five hundred years it will all be so meaningless.
Suits
I can’t believe they actually have a section titles “Suits”.
How insulting for a job to be referred as such.
Really I am
I know it appears that I’m just a corporate shill whose empty barren existence is an insult to generations of ancestors.
(I’m secretly bringing the system down from the inside!)
Walking
I went walking with your soon-to-be-husband because I wanted to know if he was right for you.
Sadly, I discovered you are not right for him.
Beautiful
She called me beautiful sometimes.
Other times she called me a piece of meat.
Falling
I’m scared of heights sometimes because when I was about ten I nearly fell off a cliff, which would have surely killed me.
Sometimes I wonder if that was one of those “killing some evil guy before he became evil” situations.
i hoped
i hoped, she hoped, we hoped and all our hoping got us you.
As you stormed out – i hoped you died.