Pet Peeve

I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re a nice guy — it’s just that when you sing to me you make me want to rip a hole in my neck and scream through it and never stop until I run out of breath and lapse into unconciousness.

And if I wake up and find you serenading me, I’ll get really annoyed.

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Rating: 7.9/10 (8 votes cast)

Oops/Heavy Metal, If Dropped, Can Be Dangerous To Your Health

And lo, in a burst of passionate headbanging, his head dislocated from his neck and flew off into the crowd.

A fan, thinking the lead singer had thrown it, caught it and treasured it forever.

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Rating: 7.6/10 (10 votes cast)

Doubt

Their country was in the throes of civil war when his wife received an irresistible job offer in America, and so he followed her and watched the years unfold on her steadily increasing rank and wealth. In time, their children became successful doctors in New York and LA, and still he couldn’t convince himself that they wouldn’t all have been better off staying in the country of his birth.

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Wanted: An Honest Man

I suppose what shocked me was the matter-of-fact way she said, “Why can’t men be who they really are when courting a woman, instead of surprising her with their true selves once married?
I mean really, darling,” she added, setting the teacup down and turning to stare out the window, “It’s getting awfully tiring disposing of the bodies, and I’m simply running out of garden.”

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Rating: 8.6/10 (17 votes cast)