The frog is green.
That took eight years to write.
Kris
“I don’t get why micro-stories always have to shock or amuse or have a twist,” she said. “Me neither,” he said, putting the knife back in its sheath.
Pinata
Why did you leave?
I had this big piñata just waiting to go.
Whore
Wearing that red lipstick totally does not make you look like a whore.
(Whore!)
Great
God is great!
So is pizza!
Promise
Some people just don’t understand that when I make a promise I actually mean it.
Yes I died but that isn’t going to stop us being together for eternity!
Obsess
Months now and I still obsess.
Why did you fall, my delicious ice-cream?
End of humanity
Robots with laser-eyes came to the door.
‘Dear, are you expecting the end of humanity today?’ she said.
Insomiacs don’t have any idealistic fantasies.Dreams only happen when you sleep.
Dont look back
the suicidal girl straddled the rail, but i caught her eye, and it was only what i can explain as love at first sight.
She slipped.
Fun
Why don’t we just skip this whole getting to know each other stuff and just get married?
Man, no one wants to have fun anymore.
Sugar
Do you ever think sugar doesn’t actually come from sugar cane?
What if it’s people?
we all remember
His hand inched slowly to hers. Though the lack of sobriety was clearly evident,they were young and mistakes needed to be made.
The Shipwrecked
Hot, sunburned, hungry beyond anything he had ever know before, the Captain slits his friend’s throat.
“Sorry, Mate, but after 44 days on this cursed island, the only thing left to eat is you.”
Fear
She took an elongated deep breath, blinking her eyes closed and then open at the end of the breath. She needed courage, she needed confidence; just enough to stamp her boot over the top of the spider crawling up her loungeroom wall.
Vegans
I think I know why I despise vegans so much.
They are practically as far away from being a zombie as possible.
Tape
After a wonderful first date with Brad, Gloria comes home elated. “I think he’s someone I can be myself with,” she whispers aloud, carefully peeling away the tape holding her penis in place.
Care
Couldn’t care less less less less.
Now you’re gone gone gone gone.
Demons
I defeated my demons.
B6 sank their battleship.
Revenge
Of all the men she could have or should have married, she had to pick the most venal, corrupt, two-timing, charming rascal that ever drew breath.
When the police asked her why she did it, she replied, “Not for God or country, womanhood or honor, rather, for the pure visceral satisfaction of chopping his beautiful body into pieces.”