The Magic Words

My hands and underarms grew clammy with fevered regret as I doubled over in the simple but cushy chair, head down and fingers interlocked as though in prayer. Then, the grey-haired, bifocaled man uttered the magic words that would grip my body and make it convulse wildly in a fit of rapture: “You are NOT the father!”

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Bessie

Bessie, my white-faced golden retriever, trotted over to greet me with a smile and a wagging tail as she always does. She’s the best dog I’ve ever had, and I only wish I was still alive so I could give her the belly rub she so rightfully deserves.

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The floor opened and the rope snapped taught. And though she hung by the neck, the witch continued her loud and shrill curse upon us.

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Leap

As she stepped up and out a sudden gust of wind blew through her hair, and as it flailed wild and free, so too did her heart, which raced with excitement at the thought of taking that next step. Breathe deep, eyes closed, JUMP…

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Dark Side

They were delighted to finally hear I have a dark side after confessing, during our team’s drinking session, that I’ve carefully planned to really hurt people for making fun of me all the time. I was too glad to see them truly happy for me for once that I decided to postpone tonight’s plan for them until the next team gathering.

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Drained

As expected, I saw another disgusting pile of my roommate’s hair clogging the shower drain. Irritated, I started to forcefully pull the strands out only to hear someone’s screams of pain screech out from the drain pipe.

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