Clarity

As we adjusted the painting, her shouting directions and me vainly trying to follow them, I had a sudden blinding flash of clarity about our entire relationship.
I think she only went out with me because sometimes from the side I look a little like Steve Martin and she really loves all his movies.

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Rating: 9.2/10 (5 votes cast)

Oh the Irony

In therapy, my husband shared that he’s been having the same dream every night for a year, of a beautiful stranger who tells him she loves him, and bakes delicious cupcakes.

I met the real her at the local bakery today and we’re going away together this weekend; he’s going to be so pissed.

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Rating: 9.0/10 (11 votes cast)

Spilled Champagne

“What I need you to understand is that all my life I’ve been toasting with an empty glass,” Alexa frantically explained to the only man who had ever showed her love, who, frustrated with Alexa’s unrelenting self-doubt, was now the man about to walk out on her. “Now that you’ve filled my glass to the top I’ve got to learn how to hold it,” she said, but it was too late; once the champagne spills, there’s no way to get it back in.

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Rating: 6.5/10 (11 votes cast)