My girlfriend said I fuck just like her ex-boyfriend.
Good move, soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend!
Tag: girlfriend
Never
I will never love you more than my girlfriend when I was little.
I will never love you more than now.
Friend
My friend dived deeply into his girlfriend’s relationship and I hardly saw him again.
By relationship I mean “vagina”.
Ideas
Three insane ideas really rule my life.
Never go back to someone who has rejected you, making your own t-shirts is interesting to girls, getting fat once you have a girlfriend is ok.
Scarborough Beach
I cry when I remember the walk to Scarborough Beach.
I cry for the loss.
The only option
After I lost my girlfriend, my job, my hair and the washing machine blew up, there was only one thing to do.
Lube up, baby and let’s fuck our way outta trouble!
Limping
I’m limping because last night I stood on some shards of broken dreams.
They are scattered on my bedroom floor along with my self-respect, bottles of girlfriend tears and lost hopes crumpled and stained.
Overheard
I overheard my girlfriend’s conversation about me.
At first I thought she was talking about her new mobile phone.
Truthfully
He always answered the question “Do you have a girlfriend” truthfully with “No, but I sometimes have other men’s girlfriends”.
Each and every single girl laughed and tapped his shoulder and foolishly failed to think it through.
Presentation
Look, I’m having a little trouble trying to concentrate on your marketing presentation.
Just over an hour ago I was cock deep in my girlfriend and I can still smell her on my fingers (plus you are SO boring it’s not funny).
Why Clowns are Funny.
As the bedroom door opened, I pictured my girlfriend in red lingerie and black high heels. Instead, a clown with frazzled green hair and a bloody hammer poked his head through the opening screaming, “Ready to play?”
Awkward
Knowing my crazy-ex girlfriend was visiting her folks in town this weekend, I decided to get away and crash at my buddy’s country home for a few days until she left. I got there and was having a great time with my group of guys, until my ex arrived and addressed my buddy as “darling.”