Who Among You…

Who Among You…

Many years ago, God stood before the angels—“Who among you will be this man?” he asked, his voice echoing through the heavens… but no angel spoke forth; all were silent as he said, “Will no one be this man’s soul that many on earth may know love and peace and fire and passion?—but the angels remained silent, not a breath was heard, and God said, “I have given you free will that I may never remove it from you and yet not one among you will fulfill this man’s destiny… become the fire within him?”—and as God looked out over the crowd of angels, all glimmering and golden in His light, a voice cried out from far and deep into the multitude saying, “Sorry, father… but I will go to Earth and be this man’s spirit; surely I will”; and God said, “Why did you hesitate, my son, to speak amid the others?”—and the angel, whose name is unknown, replied, “Well, Father, as you have spoken in the beginning, so too did Ye speak the speed of sound… and even Your voice can travel only so fast”; and then the angel, who was small in stature but just as brilliant as the others, approached God and knelt before him, saying, “My Father”; to which God replied, “My son,” and then one final time asked him the question, “Are you certain?…”
In a small Austrian town near the German boarder a child is born who possesses great fire and passion in his soul… who was born on the date 20 April 1889… And the man’s name is…
But you already know.

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Death Row

The guard opened the door to the prison cell and saw that the man had cleaned his plate, save for a slice of pecan pie, set to the side on a napkin. “Sure you don’t want to finish that before we go?” he asked; “Nah,” the man replied, grinning, “I’m saving it for later.”

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Judging by everyone’s enthusiastic response my presentation seemed to be well-received. Then i realised my fly was unzipped.

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Heart pounding, all the colour drained from my face, as I turned to see a child. I steped close enough to see it open its eyes and “shhh, it likes to sleep.”

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After thousands of years of fighting and war, human race realized peace and lived in harmony for ever after; that is, until the sun exploded and destroyed the Earth.
Isn’t that a nice story.

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Rating: 3.4/10 (13 votes cast)

Prank Gone Bad

I was still shaking when I reached home after disposing the dead body of a masked man who tried to assault me on the way to my car. Just as I was about to tell my family about what happened, my dad asked me, smiling, “How did your husband’s prank go?”

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Rating: 7.4/10 (16 votes cast)


Last night I had an itch that would not let me go to sleep, and I knew what it was; however, as hard as I tried, I could not reach it. So, I stood up all night cursing the person that forgot to take my toe tag off before I was buried.

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Rating: 7.4/10 (93 votes cast)

Not Entirely Fiction

May the Lord strike me deaf if I’m not telling the truth.
It started the night of the Gleason wedding: Missy Gleason and Joe McGregor’s eldest boy, Thomas, had decided to tie their knot at the Town Hall instead of at Missy’s folks’ place, which infuriated Mother Gleason enough to kill her cactus, Ralph, by nudging it out the window (Ralph’s home had been that windowsill since before Mother Gleason could remember); and Missy’s sisters had had their wedding and reception and, later, a funeral, at the old Gleason homestead, so why couldn’t Missy? The instant Mother Gleason found out that Missy was going to be a girl she began looking forward to the day her youngest, and final child, would walk down the aisle… so, naturally, the Town Hall seemed not only an impersonal choice but also an aberrant drift from the long-held Gleason family tradition, of which Missy would have no part, stating, “Because it’s not at the house, that’s why,” further infuriating her mother, who, incidentally, insisted on naming her daughter Mildred Ester Gleason, but had changed her mind when her husband threatened to leave and never return, saying, “…if you demonize that child with that name, I’ll…” So, Missy it was.

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Afraid is the Man

Afraid is the man who keeps to himself his life as if guarded… who keeps social togetherness at arm’s length… and who stares at his shoes wondering where and when it all went wrong, mumbling to himself about times that should have been. Terrified is he who journeys back in time to change what was (if only in his mind) into what should have been, thus living a life aberrant to the original plan.

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God spread yards of red yarn across the living room floor, weaving it through sofa and chair legs, purring all the while. From the safety of the piano He looked out over his work and saw that it was good

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Rating: 7.4/10 (15 votes cast)