Key West Vermin

“I promise I’ll call you as soon as I arrive in Key West” he said, as he gave her a deep kiss goodbye, and held her tightly, vowing how much he would miss her while he was gone these next two days.

Too bad the rat didn’t realize that Sloppy Joe’s has a webcam she thought, as she caught sight of him in a wicked embrace with the tawdry blonde next to him at the bar.

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The Beginning

Of all those in the Pythagorean campo that season, Mistra, a youngish woman, was the most brilliant and coldly determined in argument.

Yet her hands and body shook violently that morning as she whispered urgently to the stunned Master of her dream that the long side of the triangle, when squared, equaled the summed, squares of the other two.

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Rock and Roll Life: The Birth

After opening for the headlining Pynchonettes, the members of Shredded Pecker returned to their van parked in the alley behind the club to find what they initially thought were their first groupies. Though on closer inspection it was determined that they were only a pair of bag ladies looking for a place to get out of the cold, this did not prevent bass player Flemmy Squatencough from partaking anyway.

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Tenure of a Sort

As unofficial house-poet of a borderline accredited girl’s junior college, Schwaa U’u had committed many acts that would almost certainly have been considered socially unacceptable outside the confines of the ivory tower. Such was the charismatic seediness of his reputation, that when, following his death by mystery, it was found his entire body of work consisted of little more than a handful of largely inscrutable bits of esoterica, the legend of his eccentric genius was assured.

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Loveable Creatures

As lonely, unloved, frumpy Liz was about to jump from the Golden Gate Bridge, ten passing dolphins called to her saying, “Hey beautiful, we’re heading for Hawaii and Tahiti, so why don’t you join us?”

Delighted that such playful, adorable, loving creatures wanted her, she jumped right into the arms of ten sharks wearing dolphin costumes

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Pissing in Their Pants

She asked me why the Pythagorean oath of secrecy was so strictly enforced that they even once drowned a “leaker”.

I asked her to try to imagine that SHE was the first person in the world to establish a direct connection between numbers and geometric figures, and then try to recall why Darwin hid his book.

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A Successful Medical Procedure

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t write stories in just two sentences, so I sought help from a head doctor.

He found a big bump on my cranium that caused excessive wordiness, so yesterday he slammed it with a sledge hammer, and today I have five stories posted on the Two Sentence Stories site.

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