My nose hits the springy sodden wicker basket bottom.
My head flips once and settles so that I now look back up at the gray sky and the gushing stump of my neck.
Category: Competition
Competition
All the Unheard Screams
No one believed seven-year-old Scotty Schmekmeier, that kindly old Dr. Krappendorf was in reality an evil son of a bitch who visited unspeakable horrors on the children of Phfiffenburg. No one did, until a search for the missing doctor revealed the contents of his root cellar, and what was stored in those dozens of jars of formaldehyde.
A Fabulous Human Being
Barry considered himself the most fabulous human being in the universe, because he wasn’t hooked on booze, dope, sex, porn, nicotine, caffeine, meds, food, gambling, talk radio, TV, or the Internet.
He pondered his magnificence, as he sucked the edge of unscented, gold-colored Dial antibacterial bath soap.
Land of the Free
Oh sure, I sent your mother to my own lab for unneeded tests.
Yea, it’s true that what she spent there would have purchased the drugs needed to preserve her life, but as her Doctor and a patriot, I salute her death and deeply honor her, a free woman and a true American.
Only the Dead have Seen the End of War *
Ecstatically they haul our huge, creaking horse to the very center of their city, while the molten sun stokes the furnace of our wooden, hidden womb and spitting sweat blinds us.
My screeching heart heralds the huge coming of death that will end this, the greatest war the world has ever seen.
* Title from Plato
Spacebar
Once upon a time, a girl was typing on a computer. Half the time she pressed the spacebar it didn’t work.
FD&C red 40
His crew called him Kool Aid Man. When I asked him why he said “ooooooh yeah.”
Bidet
David straddled the bidet directly above the nozzle. Little did he know, a mad scientist had succeeded in transforming city water into acid.
168 Marks on The Ishango Bone
The marks were humble, even gentle in their up and down march on 30,000 year-old fibula …six times ticking off the lunar month.
My inner eye netted her tiny, black hands meticulously aligning the rows so that her menstrual beat merged with the moon’s ballet; and she became the earth’s first mathematician.
Lesson Learned
Mom and Dad had always told me to knock on a closed door before going into a room. I thought maybe my closet door didn’t count until the day I opened it and saw the monster I always knew was in there banging a transvestite hooker.
Frankenstein
Giant Undead Babies. Sounds Interesting…
Airlines
The Airline says to secure the airbag on yourself before your children. The Airline was wrong.
The October Widow
At the Halloween party, Mary thought he was just another cute guy in costume. She had no idea she was speaking to a real Genie when she drunkenly admitted there were times she wished her husband was dead.
The Bank Job
Through the shattered window of the bank, the zombie fired off another round of bullets at the police. He knew there was no way they were taking him alive.
Here i am
Ran around, lost my way,found my way, got confused, searched for answers, nothing. Until i found Him, went to Him and said “Father, i’ve come a long way.”
Life Choices
She knew that if she did this, if she took this step, it was going to change everything. What she still had to figure out was if she wanted it to or not.
Regret
She looked stunning in her white wedding dress, the flowing train shimmering under the morning sunlight.
If only he had treasured that five years ago.
Key West Vermin
“I promise I’ll call you as soon as I arrive in Key West” he said, as he gave her a deep kiss goodbye, and held her tightly, vowing how much he would miss her while he was gone these next two days.
Too bad the rat didn’t realize that Sloppy Joe’s has a webcam she thought, as she caught sight of him in a wicked embrace with the tawdry blonde next to him at the bar.
The Beginning
Of all those in the Pythagorean campo that season, Mistra, a youngish woman, was the most brilliant and coldly determined in argument.
Yet her hands and body shook violently that morning as she whispered urgently to the stunned Master of her dream that the long side of the triangle, when squared, equaled the summed, squares of the other two.
Rock and Roll Life: The Birth
After opening for the headlining Pynchonettes, the members of Shredded Pecker returned to their van parked in the alley behind the club to find what they initially thought were their first groupies. Though on closer inspection it was determined that they were only a pair of bag ladies looking for a place to get out of the cold, this did not prevent bass player Flemmy Squatencough from partaking anyway.