Books? Oh yeah, I remember those!
She hums in quiet desolation, wishing that I would stay.
Or maybe she thinks the song is really catchy, in which case I’m the pathetic one.
One afternoon, she went to the store and unexpectedly bought almost 12 months of memories. They weren’t on sale and definitely can’t be returned.
I keep myself positive and centered by seeking the inherent goodness of mankind.
I keep myself in touch with reality by believing in the inherent evil of mankind.
I want to be forever young, or at least young until I die. Then I’ll black my eyes blue & take refuge behind the lids of eyes.
Racial Integration is a bit like mixing shit with ice-cream.
It doesn’t do much to the shit, but it really stuffs up the ice-cream.
I suppose what shocked me was the matter-of-fact way she said, “Why can’t men be who they really are when courting a woman, instead of surprising her with their true selves once married?
I mean really, darling,” she added, setting the teacup down and turning to stare out the window, “It’s getting awfully tiring disposing of the bodies, and I’m simply running out of garden.”
“What I need you to understand is that all my life I’ve been toasting with an empty glass,” Alexa frantically explained to the only man who had ever showed her love, who, frustrated with Alexa’s unrelenting self-doubt, was now the man about to walk out on her. “Now that you’ve filled my glass to the top I’ve got to learn how to hold it,” she said, but it was too late; once the champagne spills, there’s no way to get it back in.
You told me my flip-flops were unattractive and unsanitary and you would leave me if I kept wearing them. But I’m only alone because that scorpion hid in your shoe.
Even though he had to accept the company transfer overseas, they were sure their love would grow in spite of the distance.
He wrote twice, she wrote twice, and that was all either could manage to give.
The pitcher threw, the batter swung clumsily, and the bat flew from the player’s inept hands and soared across the crowded stadium at frightening speed.
The spinning rod flew into the stands and the panicked spectators rushed for safety, except for Jim, who looked up from his new video game three seconds too late to see the flying bat moving towards him and at that moment Jim painfully discovered that the new IPad 2 does not make a good shield against fast-moving projectiles.
He had overheard his grandmother telling an aunt, “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.” A moment of staring at his new fiancee led him to the realization: “Oh snap – I’m in love with a whore!”
He often sorted his things into separate containers according to color, size, or use, sometimes even according to the similarities of the memories brought to mind by the items. But when she came, he found her so unique that he could not classify her into an existing group, and, caring for her so much that he had to put her in a safe place, he kept her in his heart.
He was my best friend in high school, and I admired his complete lack of inhibition.
Now he is my college roommate, and I just wish he would put some damn pants on.
Always slam the doors when you enter a room.
That’s how you hit the burglars in the face.
Before you I was drowning, but you threw me a rope. I only saw when I caught it that it was made of lead.
She loved him.
Perhaps she should have found out if the feeling was mutual before organizing the surprise wedding.
I got you something! …I dunno what it is, but it’s definitely something!
He loved her and she loved him. Shame the ‘her’ and the ‘she’ wasn’t one and the same.
We tend to criticize others for what they do not know due to lack of exposure and take pride in the knowledge we so easily acquired. What’s worse is that we criticize the things that we do not know while we take pride in the knowledge that is of no value to others.