What, me finicky?

After perusing every can of cat food on the supermarket shelf, reading for ash content, and trying to decide which would be the most appetizing for Mr. Finicky, I finally decide on the most expensive brand of course and take it home to my feline companion, who always lets me know that he will eat only the best.

I open the can, place the contents into his crystal bowl, pick him up lovingly and set him down in front of the delicacy du jour, whereupon he sniffs, turns up his nose and runs through the pet door to dine on his stinky leftovers from last night which had been placed on the back deck for the hungry raccoons.

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Strength

And there it was, that deep thought captured in a perfect combination of words, caught like a wild animal kicking and screaming, unable to escape that flawless cage made of letters. The sentence that holds her would never be misunderstood, it would never fade away or lose its sense because it owes its strength to something that is out of this world, something that doesn’t have to obey its laws.

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Heartbreak

Yesterday morning, Mitch was all smiles at me and at everyone else at the office, as she enthusiastically told us about Rey, a new guy she met, and how gentleman he is despite the fact that their first date was still later that evening.

Today, I saw her avoiding me and she sobs whenever someone mentions the name Rey, which incidentally has the same name as mine.

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Don’t Mess With The Rye

Furious, she found her big brown handsome man, the finest pumpernickel she’d ever seen, snuggled against that plain piece of white bread, both now somehow occupying the same bread wrapper.

His infidelity enraged her so that she grabbed them both, shoved them into the death machine, one in each slot and while depressing the lever, screamed “You’re toast!”

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Click

They came at her, slapping and punching at her, tearing at the very fabric of her soul, making her wish she had just gone a different way, had never come here at all. As the tears flowed, and she crumbled, her best friend said, “Holly, you know, it’s only an internet forum and you can click out of it.”

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Frustration

Frustration

It was our first football game and we were behind 32 to 0. He took it upon himself to inflict pain on the opponents by pinching an d biting at the bottom of the pile of players, unfortunately one of his own teammates received the second bite.

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The Ending

The day they had betrothed themselves to one another, Gabe was inebriated, having taken a handful of the little blue pills he had grown to adore more than even his next meal or breath.

So this unfortunate ending, sitting across from the love of his life signing papers issued by her attorney, The Great Neuterer, seemed the fitting finale to the union he had taken for granted for the last time.

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Patience

He stood there staring at her patiently, watching her eyes dart from side to side, up and down, her face a beautiful study in motion, from frowns to slight smiles, to perplexed, to curiosity, and back to frowning again at the object in her hand.

Finally, his feet growing sore and his patience growing thinner, he asked her, “Have you decided on your order yet M’am?”

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