I have advice for when you happen to buy a dog.
If the breed is GIANT FIRE-BREATHING Border Collie, don’t just assume that is the pet store being all clever and funny to sell dogs.
Tag: Dog
Aren’t alone
All the dead pets of the world frolic in the afterlife with all the dead children.
It makes me happy to know my brother and Blackie aren’t alone.
Space dog
Until the end of time I’ll look after you.
My time diamond space dog.
Retriever
Golden retriever my ass.
Where is my pirate treasure, dog?
The Sound of Courage
A dog barking at thunder: no greater courage.
Unknown Intruder
As I was stumbling in the night to get the the washroom, I felt my dog brush against my leg. But then I heard my dog barking upstairs at something else.
Feral
The sound of the growling dog pulled me from a deep slumber. I don’t own a dog.
Scratches
While lying in bed trying to go to sleep, I heard my dog scratching my bedroom door. As I got up to let her in, I found her sleeping at the side of the bed.
wishes
The thing looked strange, it’s teeth all crinkly and eyes crazy like they were cut out and pasted back in by that fat kid that sat behind you in third grade and wheezed all the time. The description read “Last known Maori kuri – collected 1876 Catlins, New Zealand” and you didn’t even know that there were such things as Maori dogs and now you find out that they are all extinct and you Google it and find out that Hawaiian poi dogs are also extinct and you wish that instead of dogs that all red headed fat kids were extinct.
When My Doggie Went to Heaven
Bereft of peace, I couldn’t bear the agony of watching my poor doggie’s last moments of life. I turned away, covering my eyes, as the injection went in.
Fret
I swear it is the last time.
Don’t fret, my little ochre space-dog.
Dogs
Dog on my left and dog on my right.
Dogs all around me.
Quiet
Um … yes, putting a dog down because you were bored of it is soulless.
My desire to sleep with her kept this thought quiet.
Flying
I can’t go out today.
I ran out of flying-dog spray.
The Snore
Rachel couldn’t stand the sound of her husband’s snoring every night, and even worse the questions he asked each time she would tell him about it; “Does it sound like this?” he would ask. Months later they adopted a dog, Morty, and Morty snored eactly like Rachel’s husband – “There you go, it sounds just like that!”
Botty
I don’t know what is wrong with robot dog.
Perhaps we should stop calling him botty.
Marketing
I met a marketing girl today.
Hollow she was, and as deep as the dog’s water dish.
Chocolate
Chocolate dog fetches his caramel ball.
And he is happy.
Fly
I commanded my dog to sit, and he did.
Fly!
Bones
I made a dog out of bones.
He keeps trying to bury himself.