She said she was going to the gym for a workout.
She was going to Jim for a workout.
Token
That little chocolate I gave you on our first date was like a little token for your drawbridge.
I didn’t know I’d have to keep paying once it was down.
Rest in Peace
I wanted to fight injustice and save the world, but icky!
I never thought I’d actually have to put my LIFE on the line?
Rest of you
I wanted to fight injustice and save the world!
Instead I had to sell out just like the rest of you.
Sorry
I’m sorry your lover is dead.
I’m sorry your lover is dead.
Understand
I often find myself saying “you just don’t understand me”.
Could it be that I’m the one with the problem?
Goodbye Revolution
My nose hits the springy sodden wicker basket bottom.
My head flips once and settles so that I now look back up at the gray sky and the gushing stump of my neck.
Marisel
I found the story I wrote for you.
Should I post “The Littlest Geneticist” or not?
Involved
Hey it is so good to meet you but I can’t really get involved with a sick broken person right now.
I’m … washing me hair … forever.
All the Unheard Screams
No one believed seven-year-old Scotty Schmekmeier, that kindly old Dr. Krappendorf was in reality an evil son of a bitch who visited unspeakable horrors on the children of Phfiffenburg. No one did, until a search for the missing doctor revealed the contents of his root cellar, and what was stored in those dozens of jars of formaldehyde.
Bread
By the time you read this, I’ll be bread.
The baker’s suicide note.
Mostly
What have I been doing for the last three years?
Mostly stealing my future away.
You do!
If you were a clitoris I bet you’d be one of those ones that just demands stimulation all the time.
Hey … that’s exactly what you do!
A Fabulous Human Being
Barry considered himself the most fabulous human being in the universe, because he wasn’t hooked on booze, dope, sex, porn, nicotine, caffeine, meds, food, gambling, talk radio, TV, or the Internet.
He pondered his magnificence, as he sucked the edge of unscented, gold-colored Dial antibacterial bath soap.
Buried
When I buried your body in the garden I didn’t expect a tree to grow.
It’s a fruit tree that looks really awesome but the fruit is fucking disgusting (in case you’re wondering).
Stories
The younger me wouldn’t believe my stories of real life.
Yes, I really did bonk a girl on the head with her own vibrator once.
Movies
There are so many movies combinations I wish were made.
Hmm … Alien meets Thelma & Louise come to mind first.
Land of the Free
Oh sure, I sent your mother to my own lab for unneeded tests.
Yea, it’s true that what she spent there would have purchased the drugs needed to preserve her life, but as her Doctor and a patriot, I salute her death and deeply honor her, a free woman and a true American.
Today
Today I cut it all off with you.
And to my great shame I felt great for the rest of the day.
Relief
I paced the room for hours wondering how to tell you I didn’t want to be with you anymore.
Then you died in a car accident on the way to my house and I was SO relieved.