I can’t go out today.
I ran out of flying-dog spray.
Secret
Yes we spent months hollowing out giant rocks and fitting them with tiny video screens.
Yes we’re preparing for something but it’s a secret.
Scoring
I’ve changed the variables I use to measure my life.
Currently I’m scoring in blog posts.
Crook
A crooked hook of moon hangs in sky, shapely and sharp as the curve of my fillet knife. The woman rolls her BMW into the carport and flips off the headlights; show time.
The Breaks
Rachel broke my heart. Her husband broke my knees.
Kennel
I take my husband with me to feed the dogs. They chew on his bones for hours.
Change
Moving on, moving out, moving up, moving away. Only looking back to say “I love you”.
The Snore
Rachel couldn’t stand the sound of her husband’s snoring every night, and even worse the questions he asked each time she would tell him about it; “Does it sound like this?” he would ask. Months later they adopted a dog, Morty, and Morty snored eactly like Rachel’s husband – “There you go, it sounds just like that!”
My Sweet 16
Today is my birthday and i was suppose to have a party, my mom came to me and said im not having one, so i started to cry( like dramticly) , so i went to my dad and he said that he loves me very much so he thought that when you love some one so much all you need to do is show how much you love them and thats how my sweet 16 turned out.So i guess i really dont need a paty after all….
wow.
you fucking lie through your teeth like you were being sentenced to death. i asked for the truth, and all you did was throw a flashbang in front of me and run.
Heeding the call
The familiarity of what was going on, coming to with a mask over his face and someone beating him on the chest, scared the hell out of him, but not enough to prevent him from bolting from the stationary ambulance where he had just been placed.
He knew the routine after all because he was a paramedic himself, but also a drug addict who needed to get back to his true love – heroin.
It Burns So Good
As he placed the tube of ointment into his travel kit, Paul marvelled at the new significance the song “Great Balls of Fire” had taken on in his life. He’d always remember running from that tree, pants around his ankles, wasps swarming around his groin, and toilet paper streaming behind him.
Warranty
I’m not going to change my mind.
Besides, I think it’s out of the warranty period.
True love
People all around the world are really addicted to this “true love” thing, huh?
Maybe some kind of partner exchange program will help them out.
Performance
They said they expected high performance.
Sure, I can steal stuff off Wikipedia better than anyone I know.
Grave
I wonder how many miles I am from my future grave.
Is it here in Australia or on the other side of the world?
Wiki-famous
I can’t wait until I’m wiki-famous!
Or wiki-infamous, I don’t care.
Fear
A clown came through my drive thru at work yesterday. Stupid circus.
joined
I joined!
I did!
Leftie
As a young child, my father placed the crayon in my right hand; watched as I transferred it to my left hand; patiently returned the crayon to my right hand. He laughed aloud as I again transferred the crayon to my left hand, realizing that his daughter was a southpaw.