At the end, we were in love with other people.
She, with me of the past, me, with she of the past.
SUV
Climate change is real and will result in the ice-caps melting and the oceans rising.
I’m hoping that it all happens in one day and every fucking SUV driving American is at the beach.
The October Widow
At the Halloween party, Mary thought he was just another cute guy in costume. She had no idea she was speaking to a real Genie when she drunkenly admitted there were times she wished her husband was dead.
The Bank Job
Through the shattered window of the bank, the zombie fired off another round of bullets at the police. He knew there was no way they were taking him alive.
Here i am
Ran around, lost my way,found my way, got confused, searched for answers, nothing. Until i found Him, went to Him and said “Father, i’ve come a long way.”
Unmarried
I’ve reached the age where all the unmarried girls around me are really starting to get desperate.
You’d be amazed of all the slutty things they do.
Offer
Your offer of a special eight-month infatuation package with free extras such as wild sex at the start but none later and crying really late at night is quite intriguing.
Throw in a free t-shirt and some affection coupons I’ll never redeem and you got yourself a deal.
Life Choices
She knew that if she did this, if she took this step, it was going to change everything. What she still had to figure out was if she wanted it to or not.
To a good home
People are always giving away pets and some of them say they’ll visit but they never do.
Me and my brother are forever grateful as we lower the mewling bucket down the well to Dad.
Regret
She looked stunning in her white wedding dress, the flowing train shimmering under the morning sunlight.
If only he had treasured that five years ago.
Flailing
I may be failing as I flail around for some meaning in this life.
Just gonna flail harder (and fail harder).
Free ride
There is no such thing as a free ride.
Unless you happen to come upon a stolen dodgem car.
Get it all
I actually did “get it all”.
You wouldn’t believe how big my storage room is.
Platitudes
When I asked for your opinion I didn’t actually want it.
I wanted hollow platitudes – how fucking blind are you?
Birthday
I’m getting Jesus a Tonka truck for his birthday this year.
I’ll keep it until he turns up.
Commodities
Remember back in the old days when stars were burning balls of fusion, light years away?
Now they’re just commodities and I feel we’re the poorer for that.
Key West Vermin
“I promise I’ll call you as soon as I arrive in Key West” he said, as he gave her a deep kiss goodbye, and held her tightly, vowing how much he would miss her while he was gone these next two days.
Too bad the rat didn’t realize that Sloppy Joe’s has a webcam she thought, as she caught sight of him in a wicked embrace with the tawdry blonde next to him at the bar.
Future
The future flops out in front of me like a wrinkled carpet.
Hey look – lions.
Money
If only we could teach teenage boys that the amount of hot pussy they can get is directly proportional to the amount of money they have.
Within a generation we’d have some of the hardest working motherfuckers in the world.
Bone
They said he was a “bone-chilling” villain.
I checked his fridge but I didn’t find no bone.