He held her to him and sobbed. When she woke up she wouldn’t remember a thing, and it was all his fault.
Despite having many jobs where people call me a writer I still don’t believe it.
(I’m just faking it everybody …)
I don’t really have any inner demons.
I’ve got inner lemons though.
Hank was shocked. He realized that Sasha’s surprise was bigger than his.
I understand completely that you love me.
But do you obsessively write about me in little notebooks that will be found after your death?
During her ride in the elevator, Linda had a hard time ignoring the large black garbage bag that was on the floor in the corner of the lift. The shiny bag sat upright and it was pointing at her and laughing.
My training with you was just fantastic and so totally worthwhile for my future.
When I need to stay up to 3am, crying and discussing a relationship I am so going to rock at it!
“What’s that seductive cologne you have on?”
“I can relate to your experience with Bipolar Disorder,” He said. “I suffer from lycanthropy.”
An hour passed until she came back from the bathroom.
“Twiggy,” I said, “want a cookie?”
Slap; white gloves touching ivory bottoms, and now it’s just breath in and out, in and out. Then it pops out.
Welcome to corporate slavery and meaningless drudgery.
Oh, I mean welcome to your cubicle.
When you’re surrounded by assholes there is only one thing to do!
Lube up baby.
“You’re a racist pig,” someone shouted from the crowd.
Oink Johnson wiped the sweat off of his snout and replied, “Hey, I just won the Boston Marathon, didn’t I?”
Physicists are currently working to discover all kinds of new particles.
I’ve got one for them: fuckingboredatworkidium.
I don’t understand why people spend their lives hiding from the prospect of death. Somewhere along the way I guess they forgot life was out there too.
I really do feel for you.
Not pain, but what I imagine pain to be like.
I wanted to fight injustice and save the world!
Instead I had to sell out just like the rest of you.
“I have worth,” he screamed. Came back: naught but a cold wind, and the echo of his loneliness.
Great, so the world belongs to the meek.
What the fuck am I going to do with my jumbo-mega-destructor laser cannons now?