Work

The amount you are paying me by the hour isn’t enough to make me forget that I am trading away something irreplaceable.
Lucky for you I don’t have anything better to do right now.

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Weekend

Tomorrow at work they’ll ask me what I did on the weekend and I’ll lie and say “you know, just had a bit of fun” or something like that.
The truth is that on the weekend I mocked a few religions, declared a meal “the worst I’ve eaten” though it wasn’t, slept alone, and relaxed my hands on the wheel in yet another reckless game so the car strayed just a little onto the gravel.

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Retirement

When you said “attention everyone” I thought for a second you would actually say something interesting.
Like about how the guy leaving was a horrible person to work with, an insufferable bore and many of us there would happily kill him if we thought we could get away with it.

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Writer

Usually I say I write when people ask me what I do at work.
Actually, I write, I surf the web, I think about wasted time, I try to stop myself feeling bored, I laugh with the guys I work with, I resist the chiming calls from the back of my brain to just quit, just quit, just quit, just quit, just quit, justquitjustquitjustquit…

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