I hate it when activist writers take cheap shots at their political rivals in their fiction stories.
You just alienated half of your audience, assholes!
Botty
I don’t know what is wrong with robot dog.
Perhaps we should stop calling him botty.
Carved buttons
He didn’t like the Mona Lisa.
He wanted to be remembered for his carved buttons.
Disconnect
Consequently, the 2000 inhabitants stationed in Antarctica assigned with research tasks failed to send an urgent transmission because of the storm’s damage to the main satellite:”(34147) a cold-adapted plant that decays 6hrs after growing in a theoretical millennium has been discovered. Conclusively we found the species in the family negating every virus in existence.”
Obvious
You really don’t need to tell me what you did.
There are no stars so it is pretty obvious.
Dr. Jackass
Tim bit furiously at his nails, teeth marks making way for a bloodied mess beneath. He stopped as the doctor walked in and said, “We’re not just sure, we’re HIV positive.”
True love
People all around the world are really addicted to this “true love” thing, huh?
Maybe some kind of partner exchange program will help them out.
Schizo? Really?
The demon was sticking its tongue at me, taunting and prodding, so I grabbed hold of his neck and strangled until his eyes bulged from his sockets and his tongue lolled, still and silent. Then it was just a baby and I wondered what happened to my meds.
Fire
I get up, lean out of my bedroom window with elbows firm on the sill and fire the gun. I hear the magical, instantaneous ping and rattle of the pellet hitting the can as it falls of the fence; I return to bed and drink my tea satisfied.
Turn of the ankle
In the time it took to inhale I landed, hit the ground and screamed – first in pain and second in the knowledge that the season was over.
The season was over before it had begun, thanks to the unlikely turn of an ankle.
Delight
You delight and offend me in equal amounts.
Up the delight and I’ll marry you.
Marketing girl again
You hear that buzzing sound?
It’s the dark cracking void where your soul used to be you fucking marketing sellout shit.
Journey’s End
He held her to him and sobbed. When she woke up she wouldn’t remember a thing, and it was all his fault.
Faking it
Despite having many jobs where people call me a writer I still don’t believe it.
(I’m just faking it everybody …)
Lemons
I don’t really have any inner demons.
I’ve got inner lemons though.
Sasha’ surprise
Hank was shocked. He realized that Sasha’s surprise was bigger than his.
I understand completely that you love me.
But do you obsessively write about me in little notebooks that will be found after your death?
The Ride
During her ride in the elevator, Linda had a hard time ignoring the large black garbage bag that was on the floor in the corner of the lift. The shiny bag sat upright and it was pointing at her and laughing.
Training
My training with you was just fantastic and so totally worthwhile for my future.
When I need to stay up to 3am, crying and discussing a relationship I am so going to rock at it!
Scent
“What’s that seductive cologne you have on?”
“Male sweat.”