Category: Two Sentence Stories

Things that rhyme are stupid.
Like you, for example.

He didn’t like the Mona Lisa.
He wanted to be remembered for his carved buttons.

My tolerance for it increased so rapidly that it actually scared me.
In the end I was buying, like, three Faberge eggs a day.

Check out this bit of paper.
The answer to a question no one asked.

Inside a black hole the forces are so extreme that time and space itself comes apart.
Yes I threw your stupid comics in there – you never read them!

Knowing that you’ll eventually come crawling back is very satisfying.
Throwing snails over the fence again.

I pray to robot god.
I know I’m a disgusting meat machine but I can do better!

The King of the Eyesores visited our town today in his carriage of mouldy meat.
We threw eggs, rotten fruit and toxic waste, as we’re meant to.

I wasn’t crying!
I had too much water to drink and my emergency water overload system kicked in and it just happened to be at the end of Titanic, ok?

Yeah, rock that guitar.
Sharia law hits hard.

I awoke on a pool table in the middle of a crowded bar.
As usual, I got up, made my pool table, and went to work.

While you were gone we would flirt with flirting, pretend touches and exquisite silences.
When you came back we pretended nothing happened at all.

When you said “attention everyone” I thought for a second you would actually say something interesting.
Like about how the guy leaving was a horrible person to work with, an insufferable bore and many of us there would happily kill him if we thought we could get away with it.