I love it when we lie babe!
I wuv you too!
Inspiration
Walking into the kitchen today I had a flash of blinding inspiration.
I’m not sure the inspiration – we’re all fucked – was worth my vision.
The olds
I refused the news.
Give me the olds, I said.
Weird
It was only later we realised how weird it was.
We had all called him tumour-head years before he actually got head cancer.
Mafia
I woke up this morning with the head of a jelly-baby in my bed.
When the ant mafia want something, give it to them.
Withstand
I used to wonder why you didn’t tell me what happened to you when you were young.
Then I realised it was because you could not withstand my pity.
Peanut butter
The football team called her peanut butter.
Kind of an odd name for such a friendly girl don’t you think?
Teenager
I am a person going through the adolescence stage of life.
In an adults eyes I am a teenager, a sincere insult thanks to the media.
Ice age
Ice-ages are nothing to be afraid of because we’ve all experienced them.
Facing away from each other in bed, a million miles between you and someone who once said they loved you.
The Globs
They’re coming in on big waves in high tide, translucent, bubble-shaped, seemingly inert,
clinging to ice plant, debris, litter, on the backs of other sea life, scurrying in the sand, burying themselves deep, nourished on sand life, hydrated on salt water absorbed through porous membranes.
Poisonous to touch, impossible to destroy, emerging as the new life, the new species from mother water, arriving simultaneously on seven continents.
Artistic
They said ‘artistic feminist expressions’.
I said ‘artistic feminist impressions’.
Confession
Ok, I confess!
I filled your room with balloons.
Rings
So putting golden rings around your neck can make it appear longer.
I wonder what else a guy could put golden rings around?
Indie
I laugh when I read “they chose indie over mainstream” or something like that.
They choose indie the same way people choose poverty.
Chocolate
Chocolate dog fetches his caramel ball.
And he is happy.
Bio
Got born.
Did little.
Crazy In Love
He promised to love her no matter what her past is, and so they made love for the first time. After the libido subsided, and while they lay spent in bed, she confessed that she has herpes.
Lazy
She wanted to be tied up which I thought was incredibly kinky.
Turns out she was just lazy.
Berries
I’ll be your cherry and you can be my strawberry.
We’ll elope and marry and then what will our parentberries do?
Two Sentences
To measure time is to measure one of mans’ greatest devices. Should you destroy this device, then you are left with complete harmony.