The saddest book I ever read was your diary.
That’s why I broke up with you loser.
IQ
His IQ and his relative position in life were an example to all that IQ is a bullshit measure.
Her cup size and relative position in life were an example to all in life that cup size is very very VERY important.
Quiet
Um … yes, putting a dog down because you were bored of it is soulless.
My desire to sleep with her kept this thought quiet.
Good days
When you die, they order the days of your life from best to worst and you get to review them at your leisure.
So, when you’re having a bad day, tell yourself that it is inevitable and good days will be coming soon, like I do.
going away
what we’ve got now we’ve got to give it up. but we can’t give up now
Once Upon A Time…
The Evil Witch hated Snow White; Snow White moved in with the Seven Dwarves.
The world has been Grimm ever since.
Accident
I drove past a car accident on the way back from Axedale today.
A car had tailgated me earlier and I had wished they would crash.
Culture
Being in the big city is great for all the culture.
In ten years I think I’ve been to maybe … thirty things that wouldn’t be available in the country.
tb
What does it mean teebee?
Where will you be teebee?
Business Is Business
As the huge pot began to boil, Harry hollered, “I have herpes, syphilis, leprosy, so I’ll taste lousy, not to mention cannibalism causes madness and tribal extinction.”
His non-English speaking captors were entrepreneurs, not cannibals, so they sold the 30 gallons of chunky soup, 150 patties, 28 pounds of jerky and 500 sausages they derived from Harry’s carcass to tribes that were.
Silence
I tried to lie that my silence didn’t mean anything.
She saw right through me.
Juncture
With the grim prognosis delivered in the sterile environment of the doctor’s office, James scooted his chair closer to Sarah’s, patting her hand, realizing she was at a juncture in her life for mending fences with her estranged sibling, even though he knew reconciliation would be difficult after so many years of hurt feelings stemming from a long ago forgotten slight.
“Absolutely not,” was Sarah’s initial reaction to the suggestion followed by, “I’m not in the mood to listen to helpful hints from the healthy,” leaving James to understand any bringing of the two together would be solely up to him.
Work
The amount you are paying me by the hour isn’t enough to make me forget that I am trading away something irreplaceable.
Lucky for you I don’t have anything better to do right now.
Big Top
The thickly applied make-up became grotesque beneath the unforgiving fluorescent lighting, illuminating the horror lurking in the face of a thousand nightmares. I wondered then how I’d managed to wind up in the staff toilets at the Spurling Brothers circus.
Cola
When he said he wanted something else I misunderstood him and offered a different type of cola.
He accepted the different type of cola but for some reason it didn’t make him happy.
Colours
If you don’t like soul red we’ve got spirit green or depression blue.
You don’t want that one – it’s marketing shit brown.
Truth
Ok, the truth – I am thinking of someone else when we have sex.
It is you, before we got married and you dropped your happiness somewhere.
Clean Slate
Robotic computers annihilate mankind. Earth reboots.
Ideas
Three insane ideas really rule my life.
Never go back to someone who has rejected you, making your own t-shirts is interesting to girls, getting fat once you have a girlfriend is ok.
Scarborough Beach
I cry when I remember the walk to Scarborough Beach.
I cry for the loss.