The jump rope lay bloodied where young Lucy had played before Lady Murphy run amok down the street with her scythe. Damned aristocracy.
Noir Paranoia
Pursued down dark sidewalks, across streets black with rain water, and finally into the oblivion of a blind alley, Blanche Erasmo turned with panic and exhaustion to face her fate. No one was there.
Loveable Creatures
As lonely, unloved, frumpy Liz was about to jump from the Golden Gate Bridge, ten passing dolphins called to her saying, “Hey beautiful, we’re heading for Hawaii and Tahiti, so why don’t you join us?”
Delighted that such playful, adorable, loving creatures wanted her, she jumped right into the arms of ten sharks wearing dolphin costumes
Dance
The dance is over … it is over.
Do you know you were wrong?
From our ex-Prime Minister
Howard’s Scrotum Balm.
When your scrotum needs rubbin’, think Howard.
Pissing in Their Pants
She asked me why the Pythagorean oath of secrecy was so strictly enforced that they even once drowned a “leaker”.
I asked her to try to imagine that SHE was the first person in the world to establish a direct connection between numbers and geometric figures, and then try to recall why Darwin hid his book.
Stay
Did you know you were my love?
Please stay, for me, please.
Joke
She knew if they went to the Eiffel Tower he would just make some crude penis joke.
So she broke up with him and went overseas by herself.
Offer
Looking back on the offer, I should have really taken it.
Sure I would have got fucked over by that teacher but I would have got the grades to get into a really good university course.
Steam
When there is no way to let off steam, an explosion often results.
That’s why I’m not throwing out the Lego, ok?
Lovefool
Unsure of what to do and what to say, the best she could say was “Let’s just avoid the day altogether!”. Meanwhile, her heart pounding in her chest, eyes cast downward trying to force a smile; he agreed, and neglected to notice the shoulders cast lower.
Worthwhile
I’m going to lie to my kids and tell them there are many worthwhile things in life apart from drinking.
And then I’m going to have another drink, hooray!
the gods have something to say?
what do the Gods ask?
how the hell would i know?
A Moment of Conscience
He held the gun and aimed, and then, for a fleeting moment, wondered if he should pull the trigger.
Then the highway patroller shrugged, used his radar gun, and pulled over the next poor sap who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Backbone
The day you showed some backbone and stood up to me was the day I decided I didn’t want to be with you anymore.
Don’t you understand – I want a doormat!
Yet Another Day at the Ballpark
The game was an endless variation on a few simple themes. The final out was a routine fly ball–to a Martian disguised as a right fielder.
Southern Texas Lore
I slide deep into the murky lake; sharp teeth clamp my foot. Alligators do exist.
Never
I will never love you more than my girlfriend when I was little.
I will never love you more than now.
Future
I think the future is coming.
Listen, can you hear that squeaking noise?
Perhaps
You, and none other.
The endless and only truth.