He stood before the assembled dignitaries; his ambassadorial robes hanging from his frame, as he prepared to give the first speech representing Earth before the Galactic Imperium. If only Earth knew that aliens existed.
So many on this planet worry about alien attack, invasion and takeover. What we’ve never bothered to tell them is that we won’t waste resources that way; we won’t begin terraforming until their civilization has died off naturally, which will happen much sooner than most believe.
The tiny creatures came through the rift from another universe. They look funny, with only four limbs and single head, but they taste great.
These puny humans had no idea that we happen to find them extraordinary… delicious!!
By the time they realized it though, they were already filling out our food-stores !
“In a never-ending quest to manipulate their planet to better suit their every selfish desire, the Earth-dwellers attempted to cease the eruption of all volcanoes by pumping all of the core’s magma out into space,” Professor Ylyvys explained to his eighth-grade class about the ex-planet that had become infamous even to them, nine galaxies away. “They never fully understood the aliveness of their planet until they drained its life-blood, which killed not only Earth but also everything and everyone on it.”
After flying across space for a thousand years in suspended animation, an astronaut awoke to feel his arm being torn apart by jagged teeth. A hissing voice echoed in his head, “I can’t believe he’s not butter!”
The game was an endless variation on a few simple themes. The final out was a routine fly ball–to a Martian disguised as a right fielder.
As a joke I took them to see the cat when they said “take us to your leader”.
The cat received them with good graces, had some kind of long talk with them and then they left rather quickly.