She loved developing her film in the pitch-black of the darkroom. It required patience and involved a sense of expectation almost like a silent prayer in which motions took the place of words.
Howard Hasn’t Changed a Bit in 25 Years
We all wore formal to the reunion. He wore a T-shirt that read, THIS MEETING OF THE WORLD ASSOCIATION OF UGLY PEOPLE WILL COME TO ORDER.
Post-Grads
We graduated virgins, and made sure that title didn’t stick for long. How was I to know it would drive him to insanity?
An independent study about the shortness and futility of clocks
Today, she might just drink a cup of coffee, smile at the corner shop flower girl, visit the museum of Extatic Arts and dance around the telephone pole for fun. Tomorrow, she will have enough time to worry about time and her future-if there will be one.
Playing the Gig
Our band had booked the gig a year ago while tooling through Wyoming on the way to the west coast, but we came back to find the factory closed and the buildings slumped, abandoned to time and weather. We pulled our gear out of the van and set up anyway, cranked the amps to ear-splitting and rocked out under the lazy summer sun for a few rats, a bone-thin stray dog and the lonely ghost of an old miner.
The Professor Died
The professor died, but that didn’t end his career. They made him a zombie and now he teaches advanced decomposition.
You Can’t Run Forever
One look at the body lying at my feet and I knew my world was about to come crashing down. If it had been a human body, I could have ignored it, but there was nothing human about it.
Day Job
Jenna Malone never killed on Tuesdays. Today would be the exception.
Quantum Singularities Are Hazardous To Your Marital Health
“You suck,” I shouted, drawing a vindictive stare from my wife.
“No, I was talking to the black hole,” I added, as our bodies were ripped apart by the tidal forces.
Rental
Rental agents annoy me.
So do rental wives.
Be whatever you want
Neil Armstrong said you can be whatever you want if you apply yourself.
I want to be a monkey.
Popular toy
I nearly vomited.
Their HEADS were POTATOES!
So Much for the Stage Manager’s Hook
The winner handcuffed himself to the podium and, with his free hand, got out a scroll that unrolled to the floor. “I’d like to thank…”
There is a difference
I’m not lonely.
I’m just alone.
the worst critic, i project onto you
i heard the lock in the door and realized the only judgment i should let matter should be mine. judging even the previous sentence, i drive myself crazy.
Frankfurt
If I ever go to Frankfurt I think I shall make a joke about the name.
Then I’ll feel dumb for being so cliché.
Switch
No dimming that switch mister!
We need the sunlight.
Straight-A student
I got my hepatitis test results back today. I’m still a straight-A student!
Sometimes
It wasn’t all bad.
Sometimes she made food.
At least it’s exercise
I raced up the flight of stairs two at a time. Upon reaching the top, I promptly forgot why I needed to go upstairs to begin with.