Nobody was tied to a chair. Somebody pulled the trigger, and nobody died.
Category: Competition
Competition
In my perfect world there’s pain and suffering and hate and torture and everything insane. But then there’s you.
Murderers
There are at least two hundred mass murderers in the world that are still active, the Facebook news story told her.
“Honey, dinner’s ready!” her mother called, entering the room with a carving knife.
This statement is false.
A man thought about this line, and went insane. At least until he stopped thinking at all, then he just became boring.
Volatile
If you don’t like drama, you best be movin along then there, boy. Because we got a lot of it comin…
There’s More Than One Way to Leave a Ghost
The driver of the station wagon slowed his car to a stop to witness a scene in which two children were standing in front of a house (the roof of which was entirely snow covered) for the older child held a gun to the younger child with his arms raised. The driver of the station wagon did not know that the children were brothers, that the gun the older brother held up to his younger brother was merely an unloaded toy rifle, that the bang reverberating was the older brother yelling—somehow convincingly—bang, that the younger brother fell on his back in the snow in front of their (the brothers’) brick home in a fit of giggles, so when the older brother turned to look at the road in front of his house, the driver of the station wagon dared black ice in a tire squealing escape, and once the station wagon had passed the older brother extended his gloved hand to his younger brother, who left a fat angel in the powdery white.
Keeping Up Appearances
“You keep on your sunglasses, your colors do not match, you walk like a wimp. I regret I responded to your ad.”
“Honestly, I’m blind.”
Don’t Hunt Babies
A man watched a bear watch a dead bear who the man was also watching.
Then the bear watched the dead man who was no longer watching the bears.
Justifiable Homicide
Introverted Ida happily poured acid in her ears.
Helpfully, Bob learned to sign.
Open Window
The Undertaker sprinkled the cadavers with cat-nip.
Then, pocketing her customers’ generous fees, took a permanent vacation.
Gloomy Sunrise
He sat down in his rocking chair on the porch and simply stared out into the distant sunrise, all the while taking short little sips from his fresh coffee, and quick little puffs from his stale cigarettes.
It really was a completely different world out there, without her by his side.
Stealing
A man was caught stealing and rape yesterday. In unrelated news, his ex-girlfriend isn’t a virgin anymore.
Um
What if I only need the one sentence? What then?
Wine.
Get me a glass of wine. Get me a glass of wine and let me tell you about the nights you’d been fuckeng my ego.
A messy business
Nothing but a barely audible hiss when I shove my boot down on the pedal. I guess she’ll be getting more than 50% then.
Her thoughts while he knelt…
Who had given him her Grandmother’s ring?
Did this mean her father now gave them his blessing?
Backseat
The relief flooded his being as the infant’s first cry rang out, mixing with the exhausted yet ecstatic sobbing of the child’s mother.
“It shouldn’t have happened here”, he thought, “in the back seat of my car, either now or 9 months ago.”
Here for a season
She held him close and told him that the harvest would not fail again next year.
He returned the embrace, wishing she knew that without the crop money to pay for his treatment, he would not be there to find out.
At the altar
He stood facing the priest, heart racing, yearning to hear the sound of her footsteps coming closing up the aisle.
But they faded with her sobs as she ran outside, her train hitched up to aid her flight.
Smiles Now
She was smiling when she woke this morning. Why?