Knowing my crazy-ex girlfriend was visiting her folks in town this weekend, I decided to get away and crash at my buddy’s country home for a few days until she left. I got there and was having a great time with my group of guys, until my ex arrived and addressed my buddy as “darling.”
Tag: irony
Irony
I had a best friend called Silver, and once I came home earlier only to find Silver in bed with my husband, who could only muster the words “How ironic” and a smile, before i furiously left, not allowing them to see me in tears. Now, while I am whipping the blood of my husbands bashed head and all is settling, i realize the irony – he used to call me his Gold.
Yogurt
I was devouring that box of yogurt like a mad man when in the rear distance I heard a woman’s voice crying. After I finished all the yogurt her sound was clearer saying: “It’s a hand cream, not yogurt!!!”
The Snore
Rachel couldn’t stand the sound of her husband’s snoring every night, and even worse the questions he asked each time she would tell him about it; “Does it sound like this?” he would ask. Months later they adopted a dog, Morty, and Morty snored eactly like Rachel’s husband – “There you go, it sounds just like that!”
Save the Best for Last
I asked my last remaining best friend to stay the night because there’s a murderer at large who’s already killed three of our best buddies.
“The killings would stop after this”, my best friend said consolingly just as I started violently convulsing after downing my bedtime milk, “You’re the last on the list after all.”