I kept looking up at this giant Happy Birthday balloon floating above the cubicle next to me like it was a really tall person’s head staring back in disapproval. Finally I jumped at it with a letter opener and stabbed it to death and everyone though I was trying to stab Kelly until I explained everything to HR and the police and was fired, by not arrested.
Tag: death
I Ain’t No Bird
It’s cold up here, but that’s my fault, really, for clippin’ my feathers so soon. The roof is a silly place to jump, anyway, since I’ll have to be able to fly my way down, and I ain’t no bird no more.
Real Hell
I had always imagined blazing hot flames, whips and chains, and one hundred tons of pure, physical pain. But if I had known that hell was going to consist of watching over and over again the thing I did to you… well, this is far worse than the punishment I had imagined – and there’s no way to go back.
Sell High
“Today was the best day of my entire life!” Glen exclaimed with the grin of a madman before stabbing the dagger straight into his heart.
We shouldn’t have been surprised; he had always preached a sell-high mentality.
My biggest problem, you
I must eliminate everything that is wrong with me. Please bid your final farewells and prepare to taste death.
A Quiet World
For the very first time I was able to hear the subtle sound of the butterfly’s tiny feet thud softly against the paper-thin petal as it landed weightlessly on the petunia. The world was so quiet now that everyone was dead.
Gone
There’s little sense in trying to ration with a barking Yorkie. No way to explain to her that this time, the man she’s grown accustomed to looking out for every evening at a quarter past six isn’t coming back.
Life’s Equation
Positively believing that we are in the primes of our lives, it is only when we multiply and create offspring that we truly see what the adding of years has done to us and realize that our entire equation served as the means to a product comprised of us yet entirely different. Now that there’s no way to subtract the years and start over again, I am left to wonder if my tiny part in the equation will be remembered down the road long after the calculations are complete, or if all my factors shall fade away.
Either/Or
His grandfather passed only after several agonizing years of cancer, while his father went suddenly in a late-night heart attack. He could never decide which way was better.
A Change of Heart
The day before he had planned to kill himself, Ben completed the ten thousand piece puzzle he had been working on for quite some time, only to find that one tiny, seemingly insignificant piece was missing.
Still, it didn’t look right.
Live Life to the Fullest
I shrugged off the message I found in my fortune cookie after finishing a “pint” of sweet and sour chicken that told me I had only one week left to live. A week and a day later, as I lay sprawled across the couch with remote steadily aimed at TV, I wondered if maybe, just maybe, I should have taken the fortune seriously.
grief
I don’t usually smoke.
In this moment, however, the only thing more appropriate than a cigarette would be for it to be my funeral instead.
Chinese Proverb
“If you seek revenge, dig two graves,” said Confucius. I only dug one, because they’ll never be able to pry my hands from his neck.
Schizo? Really?
The demon was sticking its tongue at me, taunting and prodding, so I grabbed hold of his neck and strangled until his eyes bulged from his sockets and his tongue lolled, still and silent. Then it was just a baby and I wondered what happened to my meds.
Grey
As I aged, all my past-times faded grey.
When I hit the end and started youthening, they brightened again.
Lost
You died in my arms. I died in yours a hundred times.
Self Portrait
The uncountable dead lay strewn about the Killing Fields, bearing oblivious witness to the dawn.
A lone figure surveyed his artwork in anguish, “What have I done?”
Answer
Grandpa died.
My answer to ‘What I Did This Summer Holidays’
Bucket
Dad kicked the bucket.
Mum kicked it right back.
Mourn
We are gathered here today to mourn little Jimmy.
He didn’t listen to his friends about girl germs.