Heart heavy, shoulders slumped, he opened the front door. After crossing the threshold, with the mistake he made tormenting his soul, he shut the door on his past and his future.
Delight
You delight and offend me in equal amounts.
Up the delight and I’ll marry you.
Her Valentine
It was hard for her when, in all their fashionably bohemian passions, they spoke of love, for she, too, had much to say on the matter. But how could she have told them that she was in love with words?
Overheard
I overheard my girlfriend’s conversation about me.
At first I thought she was talking about her new mobile phone.
Words
These words are mine.
You can have those ones over there.
Reunited
He was my best friend and roommate for 10 years until he disappeared 5 years ago because of a murder he was accused of committing. Now I see him coming, handcuffed, and oblivious of our reunion as he entered my jail cell.
[Your Title Here]
You’re an open book.
And I’m an illiterate.
The Wedding Reception
The bride was beautiful; the wedding every bit as solemn and religious as she had planned and the long reception line as dignified as an audience with the queen.
Nobody had noticed the little ring bearer slip away until he poked his head out from underneath the bride’s billowing gown to a chorus of gasps and guffaws.
Hatred
I only use the word hate when absolutely necessary. Don’t you just really hate the word?
Time out
Put me in the corner for time out.
Oh, please.
The End of the World
“The world is about to end, my friend,” said the bald guy in the robe, much to my amusement.
I stopped laughing when the sun winked out.
Armour
Today I got a cheque in the mail.
Yesterday I got a chink in my armour.
The Poet
Sasha. His name was just a whisper, but his words could blow open shutters and leave them hanging like children clinging to their mother’s skirt.
Finding My Husband
I met my husband at the circus and he was not a silly clown or an arrogant lion tamer or even an overly muscled trapeze man.
He owned the arena and I fell for him immediately.
Fin
Rusty carriages and a truly predictable path.
Shuttling along alone and all I want is this journey to end, to cease, fin.
Meat Pie
Can you believe it? A meat pie for $6.20?
Santa
Gotta face it.
Santa is not real.
Japan
Did you see Godzilla?
Did you feel like you were Lost in Translation?
The Girl
I saw the girl stare at me outside. It was the middle of the night.
Appendix
I had my appendix removed.
Then, my bibliography.