I ate my way through two painful tonnes of solid iron. She still wasn’t attracted to me.
Novel
I’ve lashed myself to my creeping behemoth of a novel.
It gets finished, or it dies, along with me.
Gandhi
Me and Gandhi are quite alike you know.
We both dug the chicks, for starters.
Model
I was an ear model but I quit.
It’s all politics.
Years and years and years
Uninhibited by staring faces and oblivious to the infidelity in her voice, Mr. Large beamed a smile that chased both ears. His wife could never really tell if he believed her or was simply preoccupied with the accessibility of beer (probably the latter she supposed quietly, economizing on breath).
Capital Punishment of the Future
Hitting the window of the time machine, raindrops blurred Charlie’s view of the condemning faces watching him depart, and he felt the flow of the controlling medicing. He knew he would soon stare into his younger, fearful eyes, feel his own cold grasp around his throat, and, paying the price for his crimes, his breath would mingle with old air, fading at last into the darkness of the night’s past.
Beyond Repair
Gluing the pieces of the broken flower vase back together, she wept uncontrollably. If only she could glue the shattered pieces of her heart back together, she sighed through her tears.
Girl
My girl’s skin is so pink and soft.
I wonder how I can get it off?
Twinge
I used to have dreams, hopes, feelings, and morals.
Now I have a really nice car, a house, a wife, and the occasional twinge of guilt.
Work
I get paid.
I get laid.
Marketing girl again
You hear that buzzing sound?
It’s the dark cracking void where your soul used to be you fucking marketing sellout shit.
Machines
We built the machines and sent them off to fight for us.
The machines met, got along really well and now keep saying things that are getting quite worrying.
Princess
Do you think that years ago there was a demented nurse who swapped babies in the hospital.
Will my real family be coming to get me one day?
Battle
The storm had been going on for days destroying everything in its path, but in the midst of all the commotion and struggle the remaining two strangers fighting for their lives looked into each other’s eyes’ and the winds ceased and the clouds parted. They knew that from this day on, their lives would never be the same because they had come this far together in the battle against nature and now they were the only hope for keeping man kind alive.
Metal man
Sarah took all the pots and pans out of the cupboard, laid them on the floor in the shape of a man, pointed the remote and hit “play”.
The metal man who rose up was fun and was awesome but he did wobble a lot because of the cracked cheese-grater that made up his left leg.
Graveyard
No matter what happened in the day I always seemed to end up at the graveyard.
I guess I must have died in that crash then huh?
Meaning of Life
Here is a clue to the meaning of life.
Think penguins in big hats and you’re halfway there.
Jam
If you were a jar of jam, I bet your lid wouldn’t pop when I opened you.
You’ve been opened before, like lots of times right?
Party
Another sign you are getting old.
When you go from being invited to your neighbours’ parties to getting a note in the letterbox telling you there is a party and “they’ll try to keep it down!!!”
Engine
A man jumped from the roof today, landing in a spray of cogs and springs and spurting oil.
His engine beat twice more then seized forever.