You say the “invisible hand of the marketplace” should be allowed to sell cigarettes to little children all over the third world?
I say, “Take that invisible hand and FIST yourself with it”.
Bath of light
I took a bath of light yesterday.
First I loofered up with my elf-soap rock then I massaged essence of fairy dust through my hair and then dried off with a unicorn hair towel.
Dating help
I read: “single mum loves to dance and keep fit doing so (i am a size 8 ) whose happy with her body and the skin I’m in and love my motor sport needs to love a guy who loves to dance and has a natural high energy level and is single, honurst, kind, passionate, careing, romantic, and has a high sex drive.” Cheryl, I said, “you’ve mis-spelled ‘honest’”.
Evil Pet Shop
The puppies of doom, the kittens of death, the ooky pooky bears of the apocalypse.
Yay Evil Pet Shop!
A Rich Man’s Gag Gift
Two silver eggs with gold filigree–and earring studs. His note read, “Modeled after a pair de Sade gave _his_ girlfriend.”
Cubicle
Welcome to corporate slavery and meaningless drudgery.
Oh, I mean welcome to your cubicle.
Big fight
Me and me and the other me had a big fight about a story yesterday.
It’s been really awkward silence since then, mind-wise.
Beautiful moment
There was a small beautiful moment with you that lead to a long beautiful moment.
It was when you said “I need to be by myself for a while”.
Free
I can’t be any clearer about my desire for you to be free!
Be free be free be FREE!
Equate
So what if I equate love with sex?
You equate love with fucking birthday presents.
I leaned close to hear his last whisper
“Please, please come much closer for I am dying now, and I can only whisper… just a few moments left; but I need you to tell them how I felt about her at the end… oooh my dearest God.
You… you see she was my purest soul mate, a final fusion, and when she left, most… no, no… all of my soul was ripped from my body, and now it is with her, but that is as lovely to me as though she where here at my bedside to be adored.”
Mourn
We are gathered here today to mourn little Jimmy.
He didn’t listen to his friends about girl germs.
Shiny
Tell her you’re not ready.
If she gets upset distract her with something shiny like a diamond.
Severe
There is a severe punishment for loving someone in this world.
It will come … no matter what you think.
Little blond me
Little blond me appeared in a flash and wanted to know what the fuck was going on.
Answering to yourself from the past is far harder than you’d think.
Changed
Sex didn’t ruin our friendship.
It changed it into something strange but lovable.
One look
One look turned into one moment turned into one day and night together.
Then, four hundred years before I would see her again.
Mortality
Just face the facts and realise that mortality will bend you over and fuck you hard.
The best you can hope is that it will be gentle, and possibly that it will involve lubricant.
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
God damn right I was broken up after she left!
How the hell
would YOU feel pushed out the window of your third floor apartment?
Admit
Never ever admit that you don’t care about money.
Girls claim they want that but they really truly don’t.