I wish everyone was wrong.
Pi going on forever and ever just feels so … icky.
New girl
How it went with the new girl?
First she was fucked then she was just fucked up.
Library
Take me to the binary library.
I want to borrow 10010110101010011101110110111010101010010010101.
Sing
Let’s all sing that song!
Hey yeah, it’s all I want, it’s all I need yay!
Tramp
Sometimes I look at you and I just want to fuck you raw.
Oh, America, you dirty little tramp, you love it.
If we
If we had more water we could green Australia.
If we had more monkeys we could take over the world.
China
China wants more oil!
I named my car China.
Faking It
A major part of writing is convincing your audience that you know what you’re talking about, even when you don’t have a clue.
The hard part is getting them to read it in the first place.
Consortium
A consortium of western countries, one of them America, extract most of the oil in the region.
Teenage pimple drilling is a big business in 2034.
The season of Joy
Oh, Christmas is here.
Fuck.
Ageing
Getting old really just snuck up on me.
One minute you’re 120, fit and healthy, the next you’re 450 and starting to get those first wrinkles.
Shovelling
I often wonder if those guys on the side of the highway shovelling gravel think about how they fucked up high school.
Or do they just think about all the pussy they got?
Clueless
Once again, Sue examined the same two indistinct pieces of Richard’s dismembered body and shook her head, frustrated. He’d been right after all; she clearly didn’t know his ass from his elbow.
Meditated
I meditated and finally got in contact with my inner child.
My inner child is an ass.
Jealous
I understand you are jealous of the position I’ve reached.
It’s not my fault I worked hard for two years and now I don’t have to work again!
Barriers
Eventually there were so few barriers to writing that I really had no choice.
I spent weeks building new barriers.
Stalkers
Hey web-stalkers!
Thanks for stopping on by, and thanks for the sex/job/emotional support or whatever else it was you gave.
Reason
The reason our relationship failed.
She was about a hundred times more alive than me.
Goodbye
“I hate you,” she whispered, a single tear falling from her eye. “I don’t,” he said before slowly kissing her forehead and walking away.
Utopia
Utopia really means no place.
As in, it will never happen.