When traveling, she loved the big cities without the best museums or theatres. There was something very comforting about generic urbanity: streets crowded with disgruntled locals late on their way somewhere else, the seeming superfluity of two of the same shops appearing on the same block, and the convenience of cheap cafes.
Beautiful Distraction
As Abigail peered through the banisters at her older brother and his friends and listened to them discuss the latest technological breakthroughs in science and the most pressing current political dilemmas, she wondered why she hardly heard young ladies murmur words like those, but then she laid her eyes on one of her brother’s friends – standing there like Michaelangelo’s David, only broader, and with better posture, and muscles you could practically feel with your eyes and, speaking of eyes, his were constructed of cerulean velvet that matched the color of the sky just after the last sliver of sun has tucked itself under the horizon, leaving only the memory of daylight swirled around in a vast sea of everything that is mysterious about night. Abigail twirled a piece of hair around her finger, speculated as to whether or not this specimen of a man had seen her – noticed her – and then her heart took in a poisonous concoction of love, lust and adrenaline that sent her whirling with urgency back to her bedroom to divulge every last detail of the man she had just witnessed on her diary’s hungry, anticipating pages.
Unintentional Patriot
Anytime she was in Italy and ordered a cappuccino after ten a.m., the barristas heckled her mercilessly in their mother tongue and said amongst themselves she must be German. She always just barely restrained herself from explaining to them that she was not, in fact German, but rather she came from America: a land in which no one had the power to arbitrarily regulate what you could and could not drink at any given hour of the day.
Death of a Planet
“In a never-ending quest to manipulate their planet to better suit their every selfish desire, the Earth-dwellers attempted to cease the eruption of all volcanoes by pumping all of the core’s magma out into space,” Professor Ylyvys explained to his eighth-grade class about the ex-planet that had become infamous even to them, nine galaxies away. “They never fully understood the aliveness of their planet until they drained its life-blood, which killed not only Earth but also everything and everyone on it.”
Patience
She was saying everything he didn’t want to hear. But he hadn’t stopped listening.
Not Impressed
After Jon took his seat on the train beside the knitting old woman, he raised his hands and showed her his long black claws with a fang-filled grin.
The old woman put down her knitting, opened her mouth and pointed at the blood-covered train conductor who lay screaming between her massively wide jaws and she laughed with a girlish titter when Jon got up.
Alone
Go on and murmur sweet nothings to the deep void of your heart in the bitter reality of your new existence, for there is no one left here to love you. You killed them, all of them, and no matter which realm of afterlife their train is bound for, you’re stuck here alive in your own personal hell on earth – alone.
Photos
He was completely exhausted and falling apart when he reached home. Although his first thoughts of the trip were painful impressions left by strangely uncomfortable moments, he felt contented when looking back over the photographs he had taken and could only attribute this to the inexplicable effects of nostalgia.
Consequences
The local high school stated that the current economic crisis necessitated a shorter school week of longer days. With four empty, unsupervised Fridays a month, she predicted the teenage pregnancy rate would skyrocket.
I < 3 Centrelink
I less than three Centrelink; thank you for your taxes. P.S. Your taxes taste like McDonald’s.
Toilet Love
Using someone else’s bathroom is like having sex with a stranger; it’s unnaturally intimate. Not that I care.
Not Ready
“You’ve got to be a bit more like me,” Walter’s friend told him, “and get a stiff upper lip.”
“That lip’s about to be a lot stiffer,” Walter answered, “right after I punch you in the face.”
Heathen
They ate chocolate in Bruges, cheese in Parma, and paella in Seville. At the end of the trip, they both agreed none of these was really markedly better than when they had eaten them at home.
Tongue-tied
He thought the language barrier worked the other way around. He tended to have much more success with women who couldn’t understand a word he was saying.
Ancient Remedy
She asked her instructor whether or not Aeneas had ever really loved Dido, and he answered: “Yes, of course; but just because two people love each other doesn’t mean they’re good for each other.” She suddenly stopped hating her ex-boyfriend.
The Awkward Silence
I sat there before my ex-lover’s new wife, knowing I looked like another world to her. I felt like an ambassador from a place she wished to know nothing about and I was fairly certain she hated my shoes.
Resignation II
They had tried everything to make their neighbor next door turn down his music—all to no avail. Now every time the walls began to throb with the night’s unsolicited soundtrack, they just looked at each other, spastically flung themselves around in a parody of passionate dance, and then got back to whatever they’d been doing before.
Bravado
She overheard some girls gossiping about the too-short skirts she wore. For a moment, she was embarrassed but the next day she paired something skimpy with four-inch heels and dared them to roll their eyes.
The Return
Big, round tears rolled silently down her cheeks as she packed away all her belongings. She wasn’t sad to leave, she just didn’t want to go home.
The Advocate
His parents felt very guilty about having exposed him to so many of their arguments and wondered how much they had damaged him. He saw things differently: all those years spent trying to understand both sides of the story were what led him to become a lawyer.