She had never intended to crawl or to substitute cheap, embarrassing romances for something worthy of her own sense of integrity. But as time passed, the waiting became increasingly difficult.
Internet Connection
“Do you ever wonder if Mr. Right is out there somewhere in the world, looking up at the same star that you’re looking at and at the very same time?” Rachel sighed as she gazed longingly out the window.
“Nah,” Jackie shrugged and double-clicked on a link, “but I guess maybe my Mr. Right is looking at the very same webpage as I am right now.”
The Conversationalist
He sometimes contemplated actually fixing the problems that plagued him. But then what would he complain about?
Shake ‘n’ Wake
The whole bed beneath me jerked violently back and forth, five feet maybe ten each time, the mattress bouncing and shaking more and more with each thrust, the dimly-lit walls wiggling as if they were made of rubber, and after I had flung myself onto my feet and into a pair of pants and ran desperately to the front door, I was surprised to find when I stepped into the brightness of a freshly-ignited dawn that life seemed to be continuing on as usual, the most dedicated (and presumably high-paid) of the infamous Japanese businessmen already whizzing by in their cars at what must have been four thirty or five in the morning.
Despite the evident lack of damage, and although the five floors of apartments above hadn’t fallen in on me and my own ground-floor living quarters like I had so genuinely expected, I decided right then and there that I did not like earthquakes, and that maybe it was time to get the hell out of Japan.
Unlikely Danger
The compliments she received in her childhood actually hurt her much more than the insults. They established a certain set of characteristics she felt compelled to cling to for the rest of her life in order to ensure she would always be liked.
Gone
There’s little sense in trying to ration with a barking Yorkie. No way to explain to her that this time, the man she’s grown accustomed to looking out for every evening at a quarter past six isn’t coming back.
For Grampa, for Bubbles
“Sweetie, what on EARTH are you doing?” Claire asked, beyond surprised to see Chelsea, her pig-tailed, freckle-cheeked, pink-shorts-wearing four year-old daughter, hopping repeatedly on one foot for balance while jamming the other down the toilet, two dandelions grasped in one hand while the other worked the flushing lever.
“Well we bringed flowers to Grampa in the hospital yesterday, so now I’m gonna bring flowers to Bubbles,” Chelsea answered matter-of-factly, of course referring to her comrade who had, several weeks ago after a violent incident involving one of his (larger and more aggressive) bowl-mates, been sent via toilet flush to the fishy hospital.
The Lesson
At first he was infuriated by his sickness, but eventually he came to regard it as an invaluable lesson that despite your best efforts, sometimes you simply cannot guarantee your own safety. He stopped hating himself.
Human Flesh
“How did you know you could marry him?”
“During breakfast I told him I didn’t like to eat bacon because the striped fatty bits reminded me too much of human flesh, and he laughed.”
The Grand Tour
We set out on an epic journey. Within the first twenty-four hours, we missed our connecting flight, got accused by the Portuguese police of breaking and entering, and slept with one eye open in an apartment crawling with spiders; and still we were undeterred.
A Bath for Bill
In retrospect, I’d say that travelling was quite similar to using a new bath salt: exciting at first because it’s new and different but then you’ve been in too long and your fingers start to prune and get all nasty just like they do for any other bath you’ve ever taken – but I have to admit, Bill’s excitement to see Barcelona and Santorini, Cairo and Istanbul, Tokyo and Singapore, Auckland and Ushuaia and all those other places I’ve already been to not once but thrice, seems to have reignited an excitement in me that I rendered long gone. Although I desperately long to settle down and stay right where I am for once in my life, Bill gave me the gift of feeling young again – that wondrous excitement of youth – so I suppose the least I can do for my husband is pour in the salt and take a bath with him.
Urban Greetings
Every morning, the same bum would greet her by the stoop in front of her apartment building. His salutation was always the same, to the point that it functioned much like a “hello” now, thought it sounded a bit different: “You think I’m paranoid, don’t you!”
Will of a God
After you quit smoking, lost forty pounds through rigorous dieting and exercise, eradicated your debt, and even taught yourself to play the piano, it became very clear that you possess the will of a God.
But I’m sorry – you can’t will me to love you.
Awkward Position
He hated reading bad books. His veneration for the written word was such that it always felt like sacrilege not to finish; but on the other hand, life was too short, and there were too many good books to keep going on a bad one.
Night be my Eyes
She said unto the star-barren new-moon sky: “Night – be my eyes, so that I may see beyond the limits of that which sunlight reveals.” She screamed and hissed and writhed in the searing pain of the acid she splashed into her own eyes, but she welcomed the eternal honesty of an infinite darkness.
Credibility Gap
It was by accident, she showed up in his town; and he immediately asked, “What are you doing here?” She felt so sad, in the moment, because she knew that no matter what answer she gave, no matter how innocent it might really be, he would never believe her.
Arrogance
“Well you really made a first-class fool of yourself in there, Scott – you feel good about that?”
“You know what they say, babe – arrogance is bliss!”
Differences Aside
He liked to play Monopoly and she grew up playing Scrabble.
They knew they had different priorities, different dreams, and probably different futures, but for now they weren’t playing the game of Life – they were just having a little fun, savoring the taste of each other’s lips and the warmth of one another’s bodies here and now in the lust of the moment.
Big City, Small Town
He fell ill in Monaco after only one day of sightseeing. The good news was, he’d already seen all the sights there were to see.
Shifting Foundations
I’ve asked over and over again why we began this. I think some reasons maintained themselves, others fell by the wayside, and new ones arose.