Halloween is my favorite day of the year. It’s the only day that I can walk down the street covered in blood and carrying a sack of severed body parts without being judged.
Category: Competition
Competition
The Tree
I cut down the tree in my front yard last week because the branches kept scratching and banging on my bedroom window every night. I’m starting to think the tree was the least of my problems, since the scratching and banging hasn’t stopped.
Voices
I went to a psychologist for the voices in my head and he prescribed me some pills. The pills didn’t stop the voices, but at least now I can see what they belong to.
Barbeque
Since I get free meat from work, I throw a barbeque party at least once a month. I guess that’s one of the benefits of working at an abortion clinic.
Parents
My father wasn’t too bad, but I still prefer my mother. Of course, now that I think of it, I may have just overcooked him.
The Corpse
I found a dead body buried in my garden. I wonder what happened to the other one.
Dill
I seen Dill Pickles that i will never unsee
Alone?
I was alone at my home, looking at my mirror, seen someone behind me with a knife, slowly inching forward.
Alone?
I was alone at my home, looking at my mirror, seen someone behind me with a knife, slowly inching forward.
Hello?
I was alone sleeping, then I heard a noise, saying “come out, come out where ever you are”. He was behind me
The Ex
Eric: You know Hawaii looks really good on you.
Emily: You know Herpes looks awful on you.
a womans desire
I just couldnt understand why mam had gone.for how was i to know her desire to be with another woman was greater than her desire to be with me.
Overcoming Temptation
Ruth stood, empty hands clenched, watching the truck disappear.
“Wish he’d peddle his damn ice cream on another street,” she fumed, heading back inside.
Shhhh
The silence between them began as something comfortable. As the years passed it turned heavy and hot – like a down comforter during a sweaty nightmare, she thought, or perhaps simply one left on the bed too long into summer, for lack of anything else to use.
Freedom
It has been said that the only time when a man doesn’t have a pair of eyes watching over him is when he is making love to his lawfully wedded wife. Only then, the good book said, our guardian angel and the devil turn their heads the other way and only then is a man completely free and alone in the universe; in other words freedom does not exist.
A Brown Life is Better than a Long Life
Big fat Mamas with large potato sacks for breasts keen to wear as little as possible to suck in as many rays as they can.
“I only spent one day at the beach last week” I heard one middle aged lady lying to her friend when asked “How did you get that brown?”
The shard
A single shard was all it took to bring a crimson stain, piercing the outer covering and opening up the vein, forcing nerves to do their duty and call upon the brain. Oh, the pain of a pane!
Art on your future self
His job was to foresee the future of the world, but when he tried to do his own’s, its was clear, as the reflection of a vampire. So he started to paint himself as…
Pain Killers
As the lights start flashing from blue, to red, to green, I wonder if I took too much of the medication. As the carpet convulses under my feet, I know I did.
Soulful Life
I was born, safe with a soul that was as whole as it should be. I died with it shattered, fear distorting it to the degree of no hope of repair.