Category: Two Sentence Stories

I have continuity problems.
I’ll tell you what my problem is, I said.

Look, I’m having a little trouble trying to concentrate on your marketing presentation.
Just over an hour ago I was cock deep in my girlfriend and I can still smell her on my fingers (plus you are SO boring it’s not funny).

I write myself letters, seal them, and then write the age I must be when I can open them again.
Man, the me of 82 had better have a sense of humour because that last letter was a little insulting.

If your parents are crazy and bad then you are crazy and bad.
Something I used to believe.

I like vampires, I like giants, I like elves, I like unicorns, I like griffins, I like astronauts, I like walking trees, I like virgins, I like dragons, I like mermaids, I like jews, I like banana bread, I like centaurs, I like demons, I like God, I like butter, I like girls like you.
I like anything mythical, made up, imaginary and completely fantastical.

Does it seem strange that a good word like encourage has rage as part of it?
Or do all good things have an evil part?

I feel sometimes I’m playing the role of my younger self.
He’s funnier, better-looking and way more interesting.

Oh dear you seem to be breaking up.
Time to patch the clay girl.

Franco and Big Mountain Man, alcoholic German puppets, and their dog Schnapps sit around and discuss yet another 1940s cabinet maker.
After that, there’s some sport or something.

Sorry about the hurting, yeah?
I was bored and you were there and what else do you want?

I love seeing the moon in the sky during the day.
It reminds me the world is not alone.

Hey French girl!
Never mind.

I had this big plan involving my “shit” and “getting it together”.
All the plans involving girls screwed that right up.

We stood hand in hand.
Jump, she whispered.

The game we played was called “advance and retreat” and she was a master.
Was it a date or not?