Category: Two Sentence Stories

Sobbing and pleading will not get you anything but my disdain.
Stroking my ego is probably the way to go…

I’m sure I wasn’t born to be a consumer.
Isn’t there more.

Hey, give me a call before you top yourself yeah?
You owe me four bucks.

Your potential floats around you like a little golden sun.
That’s the reason people squint when they look at you (ha ha sure it is!).

I studied what you studied because I had no idea what to do.
Probably should have asked you first if you knew what you were doing, right?

She said she was going to the gym for a workout.
She was going to Jim for a workout.

That little chocolate I gave you on our first date was like a little token for your drawbridge.
I didn’t know I’d have to keep paying once it was down.

I wanted to fight injustice and save the world!
Instead I had to sell out just like the rest of you.

I’m sorry your lover is dead.
I’m sorry your lover is dead.

I often find myself saying “you just don’t understand me”.
Could it be that I’m the one with the problem?

By the time you read this, I’ll be bread.
The baker’s suicide note.

What have I been doing for the last three years?
Mostly stealing my future away.

If you were a clitoris I bet you’d be one of those ones that just demands stimulation all the time.
Hey … that’s exactly what you do!

The younger me wouldn’t believe my stories of real life.
Yes, I really did bonk a girl on the head with her own vibrator once.

There are so many movies combinations I wish were made.
Hmm … Alien meets Thelma & Louise come to mind first.