I packed my vital organs into a box and shipped them off.
Every day I check the letterbox.
Author: admin
Sense
If the various viruses, germs and parasites that depend solely on humans for life had any sense they’d do something about this whole nuclear war, climate change, overpopulation, fat people, thin people, teenagers etc problem.
Wake up cold virus and realise that without us, you’re fucked mate.
Answers
I’ve got all the answers.
27, the Earl of Sandwich, Mount Fuji, a maker of hats, check it out yeah.
Jobs
I don’t want to call you because I know it will end with you asking for money again.
There are plenty of jobs around – what exactly is the problem getting one?
Handcuffs
When I go to parties I sneak in a pair of handcuffs and hide them in the fridge.
It makes parties awesome and no one ever knows who did it.
Trophy
We all raced, not knowing the trophy had been stolen days ago.
The new girl had met someone on the weekend.
So
So good, so healthy, so fine.
So far, so lost, so end.
Delight
You delight and offend me in equal amounts.
Up the delight and I’ll marry you.
Overheard
I overheard my girlfriend’s conversation about me.
At first I thought she was talking about her new mobile phone.
Words
These words are mine.
You can have those ones over there.
Hatred
I only use the word hate when absolutely necessary. Don’t you just really hate the word?
Time out
Put me in the corner for time out.
Oh, please.
Armour
Today I got a cheque in the mail.
Yesterday I got a chink in my armour.
Fin
Rusty carriages and a truly predictable path.
Shuttling along alone and all I want is this journey to end, to cease, fin.
Santa
Gotta face it.
Santa is not real.
Japan
Did you see Godzilla?
Did you feel like you were Lost in Translation?
Appendix
I had my appendix removed.
Then, my bibliography.
Spell
She thinks I’m under her spell.
Foolish foolish foolish.
Sneezing
So apparently a butterfly flapping wings can cause a hurricane.
Can you imagine what a cat sneezing must do?
Weekend
I roamed a post-apocalyptic wasteland, fighting off flesh-stealers and night-breathers and seeking, always seeking the pure water of God.
What did you get up to?