Mom and Dad had always told me to knock on a closed door before going into a room. I thought maybe my closet door didn’t count until the day I opened it and saw the monster I always knew was in there banging a transvestite hooker.
The big green monster with the apple eyes?
Yeah, it’s all part of my plan.
The first date of 2008 went really well.
We talked and laughed and the monster under the bed kept quiet because he is scared of girls.
Ever spotted something out of the corner of your eye with the suspicion that someone was watching you? Ever seen half of a face staring back?
Imagine a fearsome creature, neither man nor animal, with matted fur, spotted with clotted blood, having razor-sharp claws and teeth, big, strong, virtually impregnable and with greedy glowing eyes. Even this being would be afraid of what’s outside your door waiting for you to already come out.
Under The Bed
I was tightly tucked up in bed with the glow of the nightlight illuminating the corner, as I begged my father to check for monsters in the cupboard opposite.
He closed the bedroom door and I switched off the nightlight and pulled myself into the blanket. It was then I heard the heavy breathing. He forgot to look under the bed.
When you grabbed my hand during a night swim I thought it was the happiest day of my life. Then I realized you were using both hands to tread water…
The moon was the only source of light that made it visible enough to see her legs as it peered out from under her bed.
Dreams aren’t like that. Please come home.
I trapped the spider in a glass tumbler, the likes of which severed one of its legs, creating a grossly disfigured monster. But I look through the glass and see: the true monster is me.
Super Music Attack!
His image repeated for two hundred projectors back, the conductor raised his baton, at which moment a sea of one point two million flutes, clarinets, oboes, saxophones, bassoons, French horns, trumpets, trombones, baritone horns, tubas, mallets, drumsticks and cymbals all lifted up, signaling their readiness to strike the first note. It was hard to believe that music, of all things, was the alien monster’s weakness, but they were ready.