Log into my website.
Smashed the place right up.
Surrounded
When you’re surrounded by assholes there is only one thing to do!
Lube up baby.
Red Hat Ladies
They came into the restaurant, the ladies in purple dresses, decked out in feathery boas, glittering broaches and pins and rings made of rhinestones or zircona, their blonde or gray curls topped with red hats adorned with feathers, ribbons, flowers, fruit, jewels, and whatever else came to mind, talking and giggling and patting their hair with gloved hands, sharing gossip, secrets and pictures of their grandchildren and pets as they made their way to the big round table at Red Lobster, where they would debate at length the merits of various menu items (and afterwards change their order twice after the longsuffering waitress had written it down) before finally settling on the all-you-can-eat soup and salad for their one monthly outing.
Two hours later the petite waitress (a single mother, trying to make it raising two children on tips and no child support from a dead-beat ex-husband) asks, “Can I get you ladies anything else?” as she clears the dishes and picks up her $1 tip from each place.
Longing
Once upon a time, there was a place called ever after that no one ever reached. In writing names and places, pain, joy, and distant faces, they tried in vain to show to others what their own eyes could not see.
Famous
I swear the moment I’m famous, I’ll totally call you and we’ll hang out.
And you’ll do the same, right?
Advice
No one cares you are writing a play or a novel or a script.
More advice to myself.
Wings
They pinned her newly earned pilot’s wings to the front of her uniform on the left side of her chest while she stood at attention, her head held high, proud and dignified.
The composed audience burst into laughter when her smiling husband hugged her in congratulations and whispered into her ear, not knowing the microphone was close enough to hear his teasing, saying to her, “Does the other one fly too?”
Middle of nowhere
I found the middle of nowhere and after that I travelled until I found the middle of somewhere.
Turns out the only real difference between them is that one serves Pepsi and the other Coke.
Casualties
Attention is a click of heels, perfect creases, heads lifted, jaws set, and chests filled proudly with the hope of doing something good and right.
Four months later, heels click again, heads lift and jaws set as we wait for the gun salute in much shorter lines.
Bird Brains
The chicken didn’t ponder long before venturing out into the heavy 5 o’clock traffic on the busiest road in this country town. All she had wanted was to get to the other side to feast on the sack of corn that had flown off of the feed truck, but she had not really considered, as is the way with chickens, that she might get squashed flat by a refrigerated truck on its way to the local Publix to deliver – what else – chickens.
Rules
This sentence is dedicated to all those unwritten stories, all those unfinished thoughts, hidden facts and coincidences that were unlucky enough to take place far away from human eyes ,therefore loosing any posibility of being recognized, explained or remembered. And this other sentence is only here because of the rules.
Derail
Every time you ask for money you derail my plans a little more.
I didn’t not go overseas because work was really busy, ok?
The Parallel
Now and then the widow looked above the pulpit to the effigy of Christ on the cross; staring at the trickle of blood that ran down from his crown of thorns. So much like Eric after the sniper’s bullet hit.
Zompocalypse!
It finally happened!
Zompocalypse!
Wonder
Wonder whose stage you’re strutting.
Not mine, not hers, not his.
Lost Wisdom
Grandpa always claimed there was a fork at the end of the path behind his house: Candyland one way, the other a nightmarish landscape with monsters.
He could never remember which was which so we promised to go another day, but he died when I was eleven and I still haven’t picked which way to go.
Love
The love you missed is more painful than the love you lost.
Neither hurt as much as the love you throw away.
Cousin
Oh, Cousin Junkie, you and your crazy exploits!
Stealing all of Grandma’s rings while we were at her funeral – classic Cousin Junkie!
Tempting
Outside my house is a giant piece of cheese sitting on a metal plate.
Very tempting it is, too.
Art
I once had this cool piece of art with a girl on it crying and a guy saying “Don’t cry – Don’t you know I love you!”
I gave this to a girl and it totally came true ten months later.